This is something I constantly worry about. I've worried about it since he was born. Do all parents worry about this with their kids? I'm not sure, but I do know that I don't worry about Maddie having friends, she'll probably just TELL people to be her friend and they'll listen. Georgia's too young for me to worry about that!!! But, Logan, I worry about. I don't know why, he's an adorable, lovable, highly social little guy, but will everyone else see that in him?
I know a couple of really, really, great women who have Down syndrome. They seem to have gotten through middle school and high school just fine and they have GREAT friends. The have this group, called the Circle of Friends, that meets on Friday nights and they do lots of really great stuff together. These ladies are so great and put together and happy and fulfilled it warms my heart. But, where are the boys? I literally don't know any grown up men with DS. I don't even know any teenage boys with DS. So, that's really hard, you know? NOt being able to SEE what Logan's life will probably look like when he's older. If he was a girl, I wouldn't worry because I see Julie, Sharon and Melissa and they're awesome. But no boys.
The one thing I do have is my great friends who have kids the same age as Logan. I have friends who have kids without DS and I have friends who have kids with DS. That makes me feel a little better when I'm lying in bed at night worrying about this.
Now, I feel like I have to disclose something before I go on. I worry A LOT about EVERYTHING. It seems like every year of Logan's life I've worried about something big and it always keeps me up at night, then I get over it and move on to another worry. I think right now I worry about the friend piece because he's actually in school away from me 3 days a week and I worry that he's just sitting in a corner playing by himself everyday. I KNOW he's not, but I sometimes let my imagination get the best of me. There was also an "incident" at the park the other day. Logan wanted to play with some older boys, probably 6ish. They did NOT want to play with him so they started to run away from him. He thought it was a game so he started chasing after them, giggling the whole way. Already my heart was breaking for him, but he didn't seem to care. THEN, the one boy turned around, looked right at my little Logan and screamed, "Jerk!!!" Oh my God!!! I stood there in shock with tears brimming in my eyes, I was just about to go over and yank him away from this terrible scene when my little pistol, Maddie May, came flying over from the other side of the park screaming, "That was NOT NICE, that is NOT a nice thing to say, this is MY brother and you are NOT NICE!!" Then she grabbed his hand and off they went. I have to admit, I couldn't help but smile. She's 2!!!! She's so awesome, sometimes, you know? Logan and Maddie fight like cats and dogs most days, but it's nice to know they love each other, and will take care of each other. But, the scene was still imprinted in my brain, I obviously still think about it. Why do there have to be bullies in this world? Why can't we all just get along? I don't know, but I hear all these stories about these poor, poor teenagers who are KILLING themselves because they're being bullied. I wish we could stop that from happening too.
Wow, I really went off track there. Anyway, yesterday my friend Tricia wrote a blog saying she really feels like DS is "No big whoop" and that everything will work out okay in the end. It made me feel better. But I'm still going to worry, I'm pretty sure it's probably normal to be worried about this. Normal-ish at least, and I'm writing it in case anyone else out there feels the same way. Now you know, you're not alone.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
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1 comments:
Katie,
Reading your post took me back to when Sarah started kindergarten. I also worried about everything, and had a very similar experience with kids not wanting to play with her. I distinctly remember her dad and I taking her to an evening social event at Sacred Heart of Mary School, the school Sarah was attending at the time. We were sitting at a table with some of her classmates, then all of a sudden, a couple of the girls got up and moved to another table. I asked them if everything was ok, and they said they didn't want to be around Sarah because she was "bad" in school. Their perception of "bad" was Sarah not finishing her coloring worksheet...we didn't know back then that she had a learning disability which affected her motor skills. All these girls knew was that the teacher was punishing Sarah for not finishing her work! I couldn't stay another moment that night and cried all the way home. Sarah and her brother, Ryan, have both dealt with this type of treatment. Sure, my kids are "different"...Sarah with her LD and Ryan with Aspergers...but they're two of the most loving, caring, compassionate kids who I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world! I know they'll always be there for each other! I know you feel the same about Logan...he'll always have his sisters to look out for him, and I know he'll have friends; it's just so heart-wrenching seeing your child teased or ignored. Sarah recently told me she was sorry for everything I have to deal with for both her and Ryan, especially now since I'm on my own with them. I told her never to feel that way...God gave me two wonderful children who just happen to have some challenges. But those challenges are a part of them, and I love them for who they are and wouldn't change a thing about either of them. OOPS...now I'm rambling, Katie! So, no, we're not alone, and it feels so good to be able to share our experiences with others who understand.
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