Logan's Lulu

A note from Logan’s Lulu (grandmother)

I have come to realize that being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest balancing acts that a woman can face. You love your children unconditionally and forever, and when one of your children presents you with a grandchild, that unconditional love reaches an all time high. The joy and the love that you feel for this amazing child is unbelievable, all you want to do is be there for them all time the time with hugs and kisses (and special grandmother treats). The balancing act presents itself when you have to come to the realization that you are not the parent and it is vital that you respect the wishes of the parents, even though it may not have been the way you did things with your children.
When my oldest daughter Katie, gave birth to Logan, we were ecstatic! However, within a few hours we learned that he was being sent to Hopkins because his lungs were not receiving optimal oxygen levels, he had an open PDA and low muscle tone and Katie and sam’s pediatrican wanted him at Hopkins. His life was never in danger, but in the next couple of days we learned that they had confirmed the suspicion of Down syndrome.
You may notice at this point, that I have used “we” frequently, because being the overly involved mother that I am, I wanted to be there for my daughter and her husband and my precious new grandson every minute. Believe me when I say that if I could have absorbed the fear and anxiety for them, I would have done it in a heart beat.
My husband and I went home that evening after getting the news that Logan had Down syndrome and talking with the genetics’ for a long time and asking a million questions, we were in a fog. We both immediately got on the computer and looked up everything we could, to better educate ourselves about DS. The one thing that we learned, that we decided would be our focus, was that the development of children with Down Syndrome depends a lot on the child’s environment. We decided that we would do all that we could to help our daughter and her husband provide love, support, education, and any services needed to maximize Logan’s developmental capabilities.
Logan is very lucky to have a mother that is a teacher, and she seemed to know just how to keep him focused on whatever new milestone he was attempting. His Dad has the patience of a saint, and is constantly taking his time to show Logan how to do different things, like kick a soccer ball and go into the ocean.
Needless to say, I was over there almost every day, offering to help, and I so loved spending time with my precious new grandson. I am quite sure that I overdid it in a big way, but I couldn’t help myself.
Logan is now 4 years old and has 2 sisters, Maddie age 2, and Georgia age 3 months. He is an amazing little boy, he sings and dances all the time and always has a hug or a high five for anyone and everyone. His smile is enough to melt your heart. Even strangers are drawn to his happiness.
His sisters provide constant activity for all of us and there is never a dull moment. He is in nursery school 3 days a week, and he really loves it. Besides his allergies and asthma, which he inherited from multiple family members, he is very healthy, and we are so grateful for that outcome.
The opening in his heart, at birth, just went away when he was 2 weeks old. Speech seems to be his biggest challenge, although he is clearly showing great improvement with each passing week.
There is nothing better than when your grandchild calls you on the phone and just goes on and on about what they are doing. I may not understand every word, from either of them, but I have the biggest smile on my face the whole time.
The hardest thing for me to accept was that Logan was not MY child and that MY daughter is now a mother herself. I am no longer in charge of my children’s lives and being a control fanatic, this was a challenge for sure.
So I try very hard to be a grandmother and not a bossy mother. (Why is there no handbook on becoming a grandmother?) I have never had a child with Down syndrome, and I will never walk in my daughters shoes. I respect all that she does, and I think she is an awesome mother, and has embraced Down syndrome passionately.

So just a little side note to all new mothers, especially if you have a child with special needs, “be tolerant of your mothers and mother-in-laws, we are doing our best, our love for our grandchildren is overwhelming and all we want to do is help. We are well aware that we are out of control! But we are too old to change our ways.”
Remember, we changed YOUR diapers! (Ever hear that one before?)

I am actually quite proud to tell people that I have a grandson with Down syndrome. I love to say that we must have done something right in our lives to have been blessed with this remarkable child. He brings total joy and happiness to our lives by just being with him. He is the absolute best thing that has happened to our family. He is truly the light in my heart.