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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Mornings

I've been wanted to write a post about mornings forever, but, of course, I have no time :)  Finally, today, things have settled a bit and I've got about 3 minutes to spit out this blog.

Here's the thing about weekday mornings in my house....they STINK!!! 

Now, let me regress for a moment.  I used to love mornings.  I truly did.  I was a "morning person."  When I lived with my parents after college, before I married Sam, I would wake up to a fresh pot of coffee courtesy of my dad, down my first cup, jump in the shower and watch the Today Show while applying my make-up and carefully dressing in my freshly ironed clothes, courtesy of my mom.   I would grab a second cup of coffee, jump in my sporty little Honda Civic and cruise into work listening to U2.  Ahhhhh....those were the days.  I loved my mornings.  It was the best time of my day because it was quiet, calm and relaxing.  HA!!!!

Fast forward 10 years and it's the total opposite now.  (I just want to interject here that I've already been interrupted 3 times while writing this....ay yi yi).  Anyway, NOW, I literally wake up late every, single day.  So, when I do wake up I hit the ground running.  For real.  I run to get the kids, run them into  the bathroom, while they're "taking care of business", I run and get their breakfast ready.  While they eat their breakfast, I run and collect, clothes, socks, shoes, jackets, hats, gloves, glasses, etc.  It's generally at this point that I remember I have a 3rd child.  So, I run into her room to find her happily looking at her mobile.  Shew....I'll leave her there just a bit longer.  Run back to the kitchen, grab a cup of coffee, scrup my face, throw on workout clothes (which is a bit humorous since I almost NEVER work out while the kids are at school, it's just easier to wear them than to actually look nice).  Now, 2 things are happening while I'm running around.  1.) I'm screaming like a chicken with my head cut off the entire time and 2.)  My children are very slowly picking apart their waffles, meandering around the house, sleepily talking to each other.  There is NO sense of urgency in their little  minds.  They're just like their father :) 

So, it makes me scream louder (and more unintelligble).  Anyway, almost every day we make it out the door and almost every day I'm amazed that we did.  Well, I take that back, I'm ALWAYS amazed that we actually made it out the door.

On our way to school we listen to Milkshake, Barney, Elmo, a LeapFrog DVD, whatever, it's NOT U2 :( 

However, when we make it to light at Bellona Ave and Joppa Road, I always look in my rearview mirror and am so thankful for my little peanuts, I don't even care about the craziness of the morning compared to what it used to be.  I'm just grateful to be there mom.  And, I hope they'll forget that I was a crazy lady in the mornings when they're older!!

Now, getting them into school....well, that's another story :)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ugh, so I haven't written a post in forever!!! I think, partly, because this time of year is SUPER crazy.  Isn't it?  My God, we hardly have ANY free time.  Also, I think since I'm not writing everyday, I'm not thinking about it constantly, therefore; I have no idea what to write!!!

However, today I got an email from an organization I've been following since Logan was born and I really wanted to share it with everyone.

First, let me give you some background on this organization.  About 4 years ago, Logan was almost 6 months old and while I was getting dinner together one night, he was sitting on the kitchen floor banging on pots and pans.  I had the TV on and was watching the Nightly News with Brian Williams.  Ann Curry came on with a story about institutions and orphanages in Eastern European countries.  I believe she was in Serbia.  Anyway, the basic jist of the story was that babies who were born with any sort of disability were put in these orphanages that were absolutely terrible!!!  Horrible, horrible places.  THEN, the camera panned to a little boy, about 6 months old, with Down syndrome TIED to his crib posts.  I nearly fell on the ground in shock.  I could NOT believe that people with disabilities were still treated like that.  (I say still because many people with disabilities in the United States were placed in institutions for years and years and years and, really, only recently, has that practice changed.  However, some people still do live in these institutions although they're called something else to make it seem not as bad.)

Anyway, back to the little boy.  I watched THAT little boy on TV and MY little boy on the kitchen floor making music and I wanted to just die.  It was the most heart wrenching site I had ever seen.  It touched me so deeply.  For months and months I would sneak into Logan's room to watch him sleep and imagine if he hadn't been born to us, if he hadn't been born in this country.  It was a sick thing to do, but I couldn't help it.  And, I couldn't get the images of these children out of my head. 

So, I contacted the organization that provided Ann Curry with the information on the orphanages to see what I could do to help.  I've been receiving emails from them ever since.   Sometimes they ask for letters to be written to our government officials, sometime to other countries, sometimes they just need money, or sometimes they just pass information along.  I'm still very much pained by these emails and all the tragic stuff that goes on in the world, but I'm not naive about it anymore.  I know it's happening and I try, very hard, to do the best I can to stop it.

Right now, with 3 kids 4 years old  and under, I don't have a ton of time to write letters and emails and make phone calls, but I can pass the information on and hope and pray that someone out there will help to fight for the rights of these poor people.

And, I don't want to sound preachy about this, but I also feel like there's a connection to be made between these institutions and the segregation of our kids at schools.  As I said earlier, for years and years and YEARS people with disabilities were literally taken from their mothers' wombs and put in institutions.  Some of these parents didn't even have a choice.  They were TOLD that it was the ONLY thing they could do for their baby.  It was heart-wrenching and painful and sometimes, sometimes, parents wouldn't accept that fate for their child.  They either refused to send them to the insitutions or they went and got them after several days, weeks or months.  This VERY slowly started to catch on and parents started refusing the send their babies away.

Now, it's more the norm to take your baby home with you and "just love" him or her.  That's what we did :) Thank GOD!!!

However, in our schools, kids are still seperated from their peers.  It's not as extreme as living in an insitution outside of society, but it's still segregation and it's still harming our kids!!

People are always saying to me how amazing Logan is, and, for a while I took the credit for that (lol) but then I started to realize that a) I'm not really doing anything for him that other people aren't doing for their kids and b) all the other kids I know who have DS are pretty much the same as Logan.  So, why is this?  After pondering it for a couple of years, I think it's NOT that they're so exceptional, it's just that they're able to live up to almost their full potential now because they're NOT treated AS poorly as they used to be.

Can you IMAGINE how well they would do, how exceptional they would be, if they really, truly were just treated like EVERYONE ELSE!!!!  If we really, truly didn't use their physical charateristics to pre-judge their abilities?  I can imagine.  They WOULD be like everyone else.

Oh Lord, I've really gone off on some tangents here.   But, here's the point, parents stopped sending their children to institutions to be separated from society and they've done exceptionally well.  Now, let's just take it one step farther and STOP separating them in the schools and watch and see all the amazing things they will do with that.  Let's see them reach their FULL potential.



Here are the links to Disability Rights International and some of their recent news stories:

http://www.disabilityrightsintl.org/


http://abcnews.go.com/Health/mexican-psychiatric-institution-hell/story?id=12267276&page=1


http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/01/world/americas/01mexico.html?_r=1

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Potty Training and Other Stuff!!

So, this is definitely NOT a post for people who don't have kids or who have never potty trained.  If you read it, please be warned, it might be a little gross to you!!.

The other day, Maddie approached me and said that she would like to wear underwear now.  Oooooookay, she's 2 and I've been asked her about this for 6 months and she's flat out refused to use the toilet.  But, apparently now she's ready.  And, boy oh boy, is she ready.  She literally put on underwear the other day and hasn't looked back since.  Now, she did have a few accidents when our poor, sweet, saintly babysitter was here today, but other than that I would call her potty trained.

To tell you the truth, this irks me a bit.  Why?  Because it's literally taken me YEARS to potty train Logan.  YEARS!!!!  I started when he was 3 and now, at 4.5 he's probably about 90% done.   But, it has not been easy, it has not been without tears and really, really hard work and a lot of frustration.  Potty training Logan was perhaps one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.

However, I seem to say that a lot when it comes to things we've taught Logan.  For example, it took me months to get that child to use a straw.  He finally "got it" when he was about 9 months old and I coined that particular accomplishment, "my greatest feat EVER"  Haha, I was a little naive and way over dramatic (some might say I still am).  Anyway, that was before the walking challenge.  Logan took his first step when he was 13 months old, walked 5 steps when he was 18 months old and started to really waddle when he was 20 months old.  It took him a looooooong time.  But, that's life with Logan. 

Things take a little longer and are a little more challenging.  BUT, the most amazing thing about Logan is that he always gets it.

The other day I watched my little Georgie roll across the floor to get a toy.  I kinda felt sad about it because I wasn't prepared for her to do it.  I didn't anticipate it because I hadn't been "working on it" with her.  All my friends who have kids with DS will understand that.  We "work" on everything with our kids.  It's awesome a lot of the time because they always get it, and it's such a great accomplishment.  But, it's still hard to get there. 

The other day my niece asked me when babies usually crawl, and I went into this long story about the first time Logan crawled, I'll NEVER, EVER forget that minute as long as I live.  He was 10 months old and it was Easter Sunday.  It was the best day.  Then she said, "when did Maddie crawl?"  I floundered a bit.  "Ummmmmm, ummmmmm"  My sister-in-law giggled because she gets it and she saved me by saying something like, "Oh you always remember when your first does something."  But, truthfully, I have NO IDEA when Maddie crawled.  How terrible am I?!?!?  But, it's because she probably did it one day when I wasn't looking.  When I didn't anticipate it would be happening. 

Anyway, what is the point of this very long, drawn out blog?  I don't know.  Ha ha.  It just has occurred to me lately that people always say how great it is when our kids do something, but I don't think people often talk about the time and patience it takes to do teach them.  It's tough a lot.  And, it's not just tough for us.  Lots of moms struggle to help their kids with all sorts of thing.  It's really hard to be a mom!!!  It really is.  So, I think the purpose of this blog is to say "Go Moms!!!"  All of the moms I know totally, totally rock.  You keep on doing what you're doing.  And, one day, when your kids are older, they realize how great you were.  Just as I appreciate how great my mom is today.

Love you mom and all my other mom friends :)

xoxo.

Monday, November 8, 2010

"Are We Old?"

First, I want to start by saying NO, I don't think I'm old, nor do I think Sam's old.  I don't really think of anyone as "old" until they're in their 90's.

My grandmother is is her 80s and just returned from a 3 week trip to Turkey!!  She's definitely not old.

But, the reason I bring it up is because Sam asked me this question, "Are we old?" last night on a return trip home from a little jaunt around the reservoir. 

The catalyst for this question was Logan YELLING at us to stop singing a song.  I don't remember the song we were singing (which is kind of ironic since I'm claiming to NOT be old) but it was a GREAT song from the 1980's that we both loved.  This was the 3rd awesome song in a row that had come on the radio and we were literally singing at the top of our lungs and Logan was begging us to stop.  Begging us!!!  Maddie was covering her ears and, at one point, screamed out, "you're hurting my ears."

At that point, Sam looked at me and said, "I think we're those parents already.  We're old and embarrassing."    Why is that?  Why are we already old to our kids?  Shouldn't we still be relatively cool to them.  They're 4 and 2!!!

But, the more I thought about it, the more I thought, maybe we are old-ish.  We had spent Saturday afternoon and evening "hiking" the NCR trail, we had so much fun that we nerdily joked that it was our new, "happy hour."

Then, yesterday Daylight Savings Time ended.  This used to honestly be one of my favorite days of the year.  It meant we had an extra hour to drink on Saturday night, and then an extra hour to sleep in on Sunday.  NOT the case when you have kids.

Logan, the morning monster that he is, woke EVERYONE up at 5:40 Sunday morning.  He started by taking Maddie's pacifier out her mouth WHILE she was sound asleep, then he went into Georgie's room, got right up in her face and screamed, "GOOD MORNING GEORGIE!!!!"  Then he moseyed on into our room and declared, "I have to poop and I'm thirsty."  Wow, I thought, Daylight Savings actually stinks!!!!

So, I guess we're getting older, and we're definitely probably getting to that period when our kids are thinking we're really old but, guess what, I'm going to KEEP singing my songs, LOUDLY, and I don't care if they think I'm nerdy.  I'm going to embrace my new old, nerdy self :)   I'm pretty sure Georgie still thinks I'm cool!!

2 Updates:
Literally, just "posted" this blog and went upstairs to check on my crock pot meal which has been "cooking" since 7:30 this morning and, surprise, surprise, I FORGOT to turn the frickin' crock pot on.  Sooooooo....maybe I am old.

Also, I remembered the song we were singing.  It was Billy Idol's, "Dancin' With Myself" which was a cool song.  It really was.  You remember it?  Here are the lyrics.  GREAT song.

"Dancing With Myself"

On the floor of Tokyo
Or down in London town to go, go
With the record selection
And the mirror's reflection
I'm dancing with myself

When there's no-one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
Well I wait so long
For my love vibration
And I'm dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
I'll be dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
I'll be dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance

[Scat]

Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Last Day....

I can't believe it's the last day of October!!!!  Wow, time flies, huh?  So, the 31 for 21 blog challenge is over, but, I have to admit, I had so much fun writing these blogs this month, I hope to keep it up throughout the year.  Obviously not every day, but I promise to do better than I did last year.

The point of my blog this year was to raise awareness about Down syndrome, to help people understand that children with Down syndrome are just like all kids and should be treated equally.

I also wrote the blog to help new moms of kids with DS because no matter how great your support system is, and no matter how much you love your baby, it's still REALLY hard to hear that your child has Down syndrome.   It's hard for different reasons but it's hard nonetheless, so I wanted to let those moms know that it'll be okay.  It really will.

 And, it helps ME to remember how scared I was, to realize how okay we are now, which makes me think the things I'm scared of about the future also won't be do bad!!

Thank you all so much for your support again this year.  It just warms my heart so much.

We decided to end the blog with the 21 Things We Love Most about Logan (get it, 21, trisomy 21)

So, here goes:

1.)  His precious, sweet, pudgy little hands.

2.)  His heart.  He had a hole in his heart when he was born, but there's no hole anymore.  It's the purest, most perfect heart and it's big enough for him to love every single person he meets.

3.)  The way he talks.  This is a multifaceted thing, because, I love the mere fact that he CAN talk (thanks to Alicia!!!), I love all the things he says, and I especially love his deep voice and the slight Baltimore accent (LOVE).

4.) I adore his little love handles....so much!! I just want to pinch them ALL the time (sometimes I do and he gets REALLY mad)

5.)  Oh that beautiful blond hair.  I love the way it just falls, the way it bounces when he dances and runs, the way it curls up when it gets too long.

6.)  His hugs are the absolute BEST.  First of all, they're totally free to anyone who asks.  Some people I know (ahem...Maddie) are very selective about who they hug, Logan has been known to hug trees if asked.  He'll hug anyone.  And they're full bodied, arms wrapped around your neck, long, sweet hugs.  They're the best.

7.)  Okay, back to the talking.  Logan has developed a nice set of manners, so he says "Tank you mama" every time I do anything for him.  For example, he hates when I clip his nails, he flails about, and screams at me to "stop, stop, STOP"  But, when I'm done, he always says, "Ahhhh...betta, tank you mama."  I love it.

8.)  His smile.

9.)  "I do it self."  This is his "main phrase."  He's said it 20-30 times a day for the past year.  I know it's totally a 2, 3 and 4 year old thing to want to do everything themselves, but it just always impresses me about Logan because things are harder for him, but he still insists on doing everything himself.  And he ALWAYS does.  When things are hard for me, I ask for help.  When things are hard for Logan, he tries harder.

10.)  Logan is a snuggle bunny.  He loves to snuggle.  And, my favorite thing he does is when he curls up in our lap and pulls his little feet up under him, just like when he was a baby.  I hope his snuggling never ends.  Do you think when he's 13 he'll snuggle with me?

11.)  The way he runs is hilarious.  He sticks his tummy waaaaaay out, his head is back almost like he's looking up at the sky praying to God he doesn't fall, hands are up and out (like wings) and his hair is flapping all over the place.  He's also, almost always giggling  when he runs.  It never ceases to crack me up.

12.)  "How bout...."  Logan, just like his Daddy, takes his sweet time making decisions about the really important things.  We'll ask, "Logan what do you want...." and he responds, "How bout.....mmmmmmmm...."  All the while his little finger is tapping his chin while he's thinking.

13.)  His dance moves!!!!

14.)  Allllllllll the questions, allllllll the time.  "Cookin' mama?, Goin' mama?, Talkin' to mama?, makin' mama?"  I LOVE the questions.

15.)  Logan loves to watch football.  And, he seems to understand it  better than I do.  So, when something good happens, and I miss it, he yells at me to clap.  "CLAP MAMA."  It sort of makes me look bad, you know, that my 4 year old knows more about football than I do, but I don't mind because it's so darn cute.

16.)  How he loves to share.  He'll share anything with anyone because, as he says, "I wuv to share."  This might be the reason that Maddie is so unable to share, but, whatever, it's a good quality for Logan to have :)

17.)  Okay, I have to admit, this is one of my all time most favorite things about Logan.  When I pick him up from school, it's as if he hasn't seen me in months, he runs to me with a huge smile on his face, arms outstretched and just tackles me with his big, bear hugs, every day!!! Every day!!!  Seriously, it makes me smile thinking about it.

18.)  He's my yoga partner and he's way better than me.  Since he doesn't really nap too much anymore, I bought a couple of yoga dvd's which we do in the living room while the girls sleep.  He's really, really good at yoga and he often helps me get into the poses.

19.)  Just like me, he loves to cook.  So, in the evening, I can put on a show for Maddie and Logan and I go to the kitchen and make dinner.  He's honestly really good, and he enjoys it so much.  So now, I have dreams of opening a restaurant one day with Logan as my head chef.  It also explains his crazy love for the movie, "Ratatouille."

20.)  His resilience.  Logan definitely struggles with some things, but it never gets him down, he just keeps trying until he gets it right.  He also quickly bounces back when he gets a "boo-boo."  He often will kiss the boo-boo himself and says, "ahhh...betta."  Then is up and running again.  He's a strong little boy.

21.)  Most of all,  I love Logan's extra 21st chromosome.  Without it, he wouldn't be the sweet, wonderful, loving little boy that he is.

Thanks again for reading everyone.  Happy Halloween.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Well Done...

Today's my Dad's birthday and he wrote an awesome blog that is very well said!!!

Happy Birthday Dad.  We all love you so much.  Thank you for continuing to be such a positive, loving light in Logan's life....he certainly adores his Grampy :)


“Well done is better than well said…”

One of my favorite quotes since I always enjoy stories about everyday people who do extraordinary things and in the process inspire us to accomplish more than we thought possible. 

Ever since Logan was born four and half years ago we became part of such a terrific community of families organized together as the Chesapeake Down Syndrome Parent Group. They are truly some of the most caring, genuine and sincere people you could ever imagine knowing. The CDSPG  organization was founded in the early 80’s by a group of parents who were determined to make a difference for their children. Over the years they’ve done an inspiring job providing their local membership with a regular series of informal grassroots educational and social forums to raise awareness in the community and provide direct family support.

So what does all this have to do with Logan and the 31/21 challenge? For Logan and all the other children with possibilities it seems that quite a number of people who are reading, writing and commenting on this blog are thinking about the road ahead. Everyone seems to have such a strong desire to work towards a brighter future of inclusion for these children. It won’t be easy getting there. It will take leadership. It will take every bit of your energy, your enthusiasm, and your willingness to get involved, speak up and be an advocate.

Congratulations and thanks to all of the families of the CDSPG who have inspired our family and have paved the way to get it done in our local community. I have great confidence that through your dedication we now have a stronger and bigger family that is now poised to continue to get it done and make a difference well into the future.    
 

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Georgie

Almost a year ago today, Sam and I "announced" that we were having a 3rd baby.  It was my Dad's birthday and we gave him a frame with 3 picture slots.  A picture of Logan was in the first slot, Maddie in the second and the third just said, "June 29, 2010."  No one got it at first, but when they did, there was LOTS of celebrating.

This morning, my precious little Georgia peach has her 4 month Doctors appointment and I'm thinking, "where has the time gone?!?!?!"  Honestly, she's growing up so fast and it's killing me.  I want her to stay a newborn forever!!!

Many of you have heard me say that Georgie is "my favorite."  And, I just want to clarify a little as that apparently makes me seem like a bad mom :)

Georgia is BY FAR the least stressful of all my babies.  I'm sure you all know why Logan was stressful and Maddie, wow, she just about killed us with her crying. ALLLLL the time.

Georgie is basically a mini-Logan without all the stress.  She's snuggly and smiley and so, so, so sweet.  She smiles, laughs and giggles at everyone.  She actually rarely cries unless she hungry or tired.  She's just a dream of a baby.

So, I just wanted to share that with you.  In case there's someone out there who has a baby with DS and is scared to have another one.  It CAN be a joyous occasion, it WILL be!! I promise.

Also, while Maddie's labor was so scary, Georgie's was AWESOME!!!  It was like a party in the delivery room.  I'll remember it for the rest of my life.  It was a blast.  And, in case you're wondering, we had ZERO tests done while I was pregnant with her.  I mean NOTHING.  We didn't even know if she was a boy or a girl (although I knew she was a girl all along).  And, it turns out, not having the tests done were less stressful for me that having them done.  I was just able to enjoy being pregnant with my peach :)

Georgia has recently started "singing" and giggling so I took a little video of it to share with you.  I'm pretty sure it's the kind of video that only a mother would truly love, but I'm sharing it anyway!!!

Follow-up from Lulu

While reading Katie's post about my dad and how he lives on in Logan, it made me realize just how strong her faith is. We all have come to rely on our faith through difficult times and it is that faith that helps us see that everything happens for a reason in all of our lives. Yes, it is easy to say, and sometimes hard to understand why we are given some of the challenges that we face. but it is those challenges and how we handle them that make us the people that we are. I truly believe that God chooses, very carefully, who he will send these very special, wonderful babies with Down syndrome to.We must have done something very right in this life to be given such a gift as to have them in our lives. Since Logan has joined our family, he has brought a close family even closer and we have meet some of the most wonderful people through the CSDPG, people we may never have met, that have truly enriched our lives in so many ways. The bond that we have with all our other friends has grown even stringer and the love and support to Logan and his family is overwhelming. We have all been blessed to have Logan teach us so many new things about ourselves and about our faith. I know this is very deep, but sometimes, it just has to be said.  

Sent from my iPad
Linda Galvin Anderson
1246 Clearfield Circle
Lutherville, Md 21093
410-440-4009

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Bill

I'm writing this post on Monday night.  The kids are asleep and I have a glass of wine in my hand and I'm already crying.

(Sigh) So, I'm writing about my Bill tonight because Tuesday, October 26th, is his birthday.  He would have been 80 years old today.  But, Bill passed away 5 years ago.  And, believe it or not, I still miss him, so much, everyday.  I'm still shocked that he's gone.  I can't believe it.

Bill was my grandfather, my mom's father, and, truly an all around awesome guy.  He was, and still is, one of my favorite people.  I can't even think of words to say about him because he was just so great.  He was funny, and handsome, and kind, and witty, and strong, and so smart, and very crafty.  He was just amazing.

Truly, one of my biggest saddnesses in my life is that Bill will never meet my children.  It breaks my heart.  But, I have a secret to confess, I feel like Bill knows Logan already.  I felt Bill's presence so strongly when we were in the NICU and I still feel him around Logan from time to time.  It's such a peaceful, reassuring feeling.  I think the reason I feel Bill around Logan is because Logan is SO much like Bill.  He's easygoing and funny and kind, but doesn't take any BS from anyone.  I feel like Bill guides Logan a lot, and I know he always will.

So, while I'm still so sad about losing Bill, and I miss him so much, I know he's with us.  I know he knows my little angel, because I believe he played a part in Sam and I being "chosen" as Logan's parents.
Thank you Bill.  We love you so much.  Always.

My Uncle Blake pointed out that you never know how much people mean to you until they're gone. 
I hope you get the chance today to tell someone that you love them.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Logan and Maddie

Ha! Where do I even begin with these two!!!  Trouble, trouble, trouble.

I guess I'll start at the beginning.

Sam and I always knew that we wanted our children to be close in age.  So, when Logan was about 9 months old we began talking about having another baby.  Almost exactly a year later, Maddie May entered our lives.  And what an entrance she made....

My pregnancy with Maddie was stressful.  Why?  Because I was so, unbelievably scared that something would go wrong.  See, when I was pregnant with Logan, I was blissfully happy.  I was pregnant with many of my girlfriends, which was awesome, and every night I went to bed dreaming about my beautiful, perfect baby and every morning I woke up with a smile on my face.  Even labor with Logan was wonderful.  I LOVED it!!!

Until they took him away from me in the delivery room, blowing oxygen in his face, and worried looks on theirs.  That's when things changed for me.

I went from being blissfully happy to, ummmm, cautiously skeptical?  Yeah, I guess that's a good way to put it. Which is why I decided to have another baby, despite being scared, we went for it, cautiously, skeptically.

So, scared during my pregnancy with Maddie, and, consequently, a little grumpy (according to Sam and my mom) and, literally, terrified during her birth, which lasted an excruciating 18 hours.  Excruciating because I was FREAKING out!!!  So, so, so scared of what was going to happen.  I think I even told Sam that I didn't want to "go through with it" I wanted to go home...lol.

Anyway, Mads popped out at 11:23 p.m. and was totally fine...sort of.  She cried A LOT!!!  I mean A LOT. All the time.  ALLLLL the time.  Get the point?

It makes me laugh now, I mean really laugh.  She was a trip, and she still is.  She's a feisty, sassy, spunky, incredibly smart little peanut.  I love her to death, but man-oh-man she drives me crazy sometimes.

She also drives Logan crazy, A LOT.  But, you know what, they are truly best buds (most of the time).  They cause a lot of trouble between the two of 'em.  One's a little devil and one's a little angel.  Depends on the day which is which.  I know most of you are thinking Logan's probably, usually, the angel, but that is NOT true.  Maddie's a loud child.  When she does something bad, everyone knows about it.  Logan's the silent, mischievous one who constantly eggs her on, causing her to get in trouble while he smiles his sweet little smile and escapes punishment. 

Today, we were having a picnic outside.  A breakfast picnic, and Logan polished off his pancakes pretty fast, then started eying Maddie's.   She's very slow and deliberate about how she eats, she doesn't just shove it all in like her brother.  She notices that he's looking for seconds and she flat out tells him "Do NOT take my pancake Logan."  "Okay," he says.   So he's looking around, acting all nonchalant, then gasps and screams, "A bunny!!!"  Maddie turns her head to look, he grabs the pancake and takes off in the opposite direction.  a.)there was NO bunny b.)  he should have been a little more stealth about it, but running was NOT the way to go.  She takes off after him, and is much, much faster than he is, grabs him by the shirt, pulls him down and grabs the pancake.  He, of course, starts pretend-crying.  She feels bad so, bless her heart, she say's "okay Logan, how about you can have half of mine?"  He says, "okay" and off they go, holding hands, back to the blanket.

This is the nature of their relationship.  They fight, hard, but they love each other harder.  They're definitely worst enemies a lot of times, but most of the time, they're best friends.  I love watching them play together and I pray they'll always love each other this much.

Someone recently asked me if I thought Maddie knew Logan had Down syndrome.  I don't think she knows and, truthfully, I don't think she'll care when she does find out.  To her, Logan is everything a big brother should be.  He irritates her, he picks on her, he loves her, he protects her and he takes care of her.  To Maddie, Logan is just her big brother, but also her hero and I have a feeling he always will be.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

CDSPG

Whoops, forgot to write yesterday!! Does it count if I write ABOUT yesterday, do you think? 

The reason the blog slipped my mind is because we had our first annual CDSPG bull roast yesterday and I was feeling slightly stressed about it.  Tricia and I recently took over as co-presidents of the CDSPG and we just have so many things going on I was worried that we hadn't paid enough attention to the bull roast.  However, it turned out to be a phenomenal event!!!  The people who put it together could NOT have done a better job.  It was such a well run event, and I think everyone who went had a blast.  I know I did!!

I remembered something yesterday, as I looked around the room at all my friends, that made me chuckle.

When Logan was first diagnosed, the Doctors at Hopkins were SO positive about his diagnosis(I firmly believe that their attitude is the reason that Sam and I handled the news so well).   Anyway, they were constantly reinforcing that DS wasn't that scary, and that everything would be okay, and the day after Logan was diagnosed, one of the Residents brought me the CDSPG post card with all the contact information.  She said, "This is a great group of people, you'll love them and, just think, you'll have a whole new group of friends." 

This sort of irked me because, I thought begrudgingly, I don't NEED or WANT anymore friends (I was still a little bitter).  However, I called them, and went to a few playgroups, then the adult social, then the new parents brunch and, slowly but surely, started to get more and more involved, and somehow I did end up making a whole new set of friends.  And, let me tell you, I LOVE that I've met these friends.  They ARE the greatest group of people.

I feel so blessed to have Logan in my life for so many reasons, one of which is my "new" group of friends.  These are the people who will always understand what I'm going through.  And, because they know, they'll always be there for me, and I for them, when we need each other.  It's such a warm feeling to know that we'll be in each others lives literally for the rest of our lives, and that we don't have to "go it alone." 

This isn't to say that I don't love and appreciate my other friends, I already wrote about how much they mean to me!, but this is a different kind of love and support and I'm eternally grateful for the amazing group of friends I've met because of my precious Logan!! 

I'll attempt to put pictures up from the Bull Roast later, I'm not very good at figuring this blog thing out so, fingers crossed, I'll be able to do it :)

Happy Sunday and GOOOOOOO RAVENS!!!!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Big Brother

Jen and Brian have been friends of ours since High school and we LOVE them to death.  They are 2 truly wonderful people.  They were the first in our "crowd" to have a baby and he's just as wonderful as they are.  Conor Nicholas is now 8 years old and we really, really love this kid. 

I mean, honestly, Conor is one of the greatest kids you'll ever meet.  He's a super sensitive little boy with a huge heart.  He truly looks after all of our little ones.

We're all lucky  to have Conor in our lives, but our kids are especially blessed to have him as their "big brother."

Thanks Conor for this super sweet, funny, heartwarming post.  Logan, Maddie, Georgia, Sam and I love you!!!

From Jen (Conor's mom)

When the five of us finally sat down for a family dinner on Sunday, I asked Brian about his blog writing status for Logan.  We decided that this year another member of our family would write about Logan.  Not surprising, Conor immediately asked what we were talking about.  I told him about Ms. Katie's blog for Logan and how different people were writing to and about Logan through the blog.  It just so happens that Conor is working on pen pal letter writing in school.  He asked if he could do one.  I decided that the first person to get me their letter would  be the "blogger" for our family.  Again not surprising, Conor came back first with a letter that he had written to Logan.  Here it is (unedited and all despite the English teacher and mom in me!).

Dear Logan,

As the oldest kid in my family and our moms and dads' friends, I feel like the oldest brother of everyone.  I like to watch over everyone to make sure that nobody gets hurt.  So I decided to tell you about some "life lessons" about school, third grade, and everyday life that I have learned.
1. Have fun everyday
2. Always listen to your teacher
3. Always read
4. Don't go in the girls bathroom
5. Don't get caught picking your nose
6. Lock your bedroom door so your sisters can't get in
7. Unlike my brother Brady, always wear underwear
8. Just be yourself!!!

Logan, you are an awesome kid.  I will always watch over you.  I am happy to have you as a friend and "little brother".

Your friend,
Conor


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Special Friends from the Special Olympics

Sam and I met Tom and Kelley Schniedwind about 4 years ago when we first formed "Logan's Heroes" for the Special Olympics Polar Bear Plunge.


Tom called Sam on a cold Sunday afternoon and asked if Logan would be the honorary chairman of the plunge.


We were beyond thrilled, but, more than that, the plunge, and the folks at Special Olympics, really, really changed our lives.  They completely embraced us , and have loved us, and Logan, ever since.


Kelley has written today's blog and, in it, she talks about "how remarkable" our family is.  But, as I've said, many, many, many times we're only this way because of the love and support of YOU!!!  


So, not only does Kelley work at SOMD, but she's honestly become a great friend of mine.  I adore her, and I think SHE'S an amazing person and mother.  


I really appreciate her unique perspective, because she's one of the few people who can see and understand mothers of children with disabilities and mothers of children without disabilities.


Thanks Kelley and Tom for taking the time to write such a GREAT ;)  message.  I, for one, really appreciate it.


xoxo


I want to preface this post by saying that I am not a parent of a child with DS, or with an intellectual disability.  I am fortunate enough to be an 11-year veteran of the staff of Special Olympics Maryland, and I am a mom/stepmom of 5 children ranging in age from 15 to almost 1 year.  I say this because while I, as a result of my job, have perhaps a better understanding than some about the struggles and challenges that Katie and all the other moms face, I am still very much on the outside looking in.

There are so many ways I could have gone with this post, and I have been thinking about it for days now.  I have had the privilege of getting to know Katie, and Sam and Logan and without a doubt, my life is better because of it, so I could talk about that.  I could add to what has already been said about what a bright light Logan is, and how is more like my 3-year-old son than he is different, because all of that is true too.

But as a mom, I thought I’d take the time to tell Katie something.  I have been reading the blog, and every time I do, it reminds me of what I find most remarkable about Katie…and that is just how unremarkable having a son with DS has been to her.  Katie (and Sam too, but for now it’s all about Mom!) has completely taken it in stride that her first-born child happened to have that extra chromosome.  One need only spend five minutes with them to understand the meaning of seeing the person and not the disability because this family lives that.  It is as if Katie was hand-selected to be Logan’s mom…and well, maybe she was.  Now that she has added two daughters to the brood, it is even more evident that Logan is just one part of a busy family of five – albeit a very, very happy part!  Yes, Katie worries, but even in the limited time  that I have spent with her and her family, I can sense that she has never for one minute asked “why me?” or wondered what if would be like if Logan were “normal.”  Actually – I know that for a fact, since she just recently said that she would never want to change Logan.
So I see this and I admire it and I wish the whole world would understand what Katie does – that Logan is a gift to us all, if only we are wise enough to see the person and not the DS.  

But I also know that while I worry about whether or not the other kids in pre-school will like my 3-year-old son, Katie wonders whether the other kids will even give Logan a chance.  I fight daily battles with my older children to get them to study, while Katie fights a different battle to allow Logan into the classroom.  I am working hard now as a parent to prepare my children to be independent and go out into the world, while Katie evaluates that on a completely different scale and her worry about what will happen to Logan after she’s gone takes on an entirely different meaning than mine.

Because I can’t take on her struggles or her challenges anymore than I can know the rewards of being Logan’s Mom, what I would like to do is make Katie a promise.  I promise to raise children who DO see Logan for Logan and not define him by his DS.  It’s not a perfect world and one thing I do know from my work at SOMD is that there is too much hate, intolerance and ignorance out there.  But all of us moms can be a part of the solution by teaching acceptance and love, and helping this next generation to see that different is not a bad word and that intolerance of others just won’t be tolerated.  I want to live in a world in which Logan has all the same opportunities as my children – a world in which Katie’s worries are the same as mine and every other mom’s.  I can’t change the whole world, but if feeling loved, valued and respected by one more family matters, then at least it’s a start.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

High Expectations

So much to say about the wonderful lady/family who wrote today's post.  Kate Miceli Lepley and I went to high school together, although we graduated in different years.  We became good friends when she was pregnant with her first child and I was pregnant with Logan.  NOW, Carter (Kate and Barry's son) and Logan go to school together.  Logan adores Carter because he is sooooo "super cool." 

Barry and Sam are also great friends and Barry is a loyal, loyal plunger every year.  Barry is also a nurse anesthetist at GBMC and always helps us out when we have to go there:) 

Barry and Kate are all around awesome people, they truly are.

They also have a beautiful niece, Megan, who has a loss of genetic material on the long arm of chromosome 15.  This is a rare genetic disorder that the docs at Hopkins don't know much about.  So, of COURSE, Katie and Barry have stepped up to be the wonderful Aunt and Uncle that they are, and are helping to raise money for the Miracle for Megan foundation that Kate's brother and sister-in-law started.  The foundation has three goals:

1.       To provide funding for research and equipment for therapeutic centers working with children with genetic disorders.
2.       To provide funding for key neurological research facilities, to increase early detection, identification, treatment, and possible prevention methods for genetic disorders.
3.       To fund a scholarship program for the families who have children with genetic disorders who require assistance in funding medical care and education.
On October 30, 2010 the first annual Miles for Megan 5k and Family Fun Walk will raise money and awareness for people with genetic disorders.   Please, please, please join us at this amazing event!!
http://www.miracle-for-megan.com/events_2.html
 Meanwhile, enjoy the post that Kate has written, it's so insightful!!

Thanks Kate, Barry, Carter and Brooks :)  We love you guys!!!


           
My blog entry is all about expectations. As parents, we are filled with these! Some are realistic, like expecting that your child will be polite, and others, not so much… (Like expecting that they will be polite 100% of the time)! What I would like to write about is the importance of having high (but realistic) expectations for your child. When I think about Logan, and how amazing he is, I also always think about his amazing parents and the role that they have played in helping him to be exactly who he is: a smart, kind, loving and sweet boy! Katie and Sam have always put Logan first, not his diagnosis of Down Syndrome. They shower him with unconditional love and support. They are constantly providing him with opportunities to grow and learn and never miss a chance for Logan to experience all of the joys of being a kid. Through their example, they have helped to teach their family and friends to have high expectations for Logan too, and are helping to change so many people’s views of children with Down Syndrome and other disabilities.

In my work as a teacher / school counselor, I have found that the more you expect of children, the more they rise to the occasion and meet your expectations. Children need adults who believe in them and treat them as if they are capable of achieving whatever they set forth to accomplish.

 “When children are given responsibilities and held to expectations, the message is clearly communicated that they are worthy and capable of being contributing members of the family.' 'For families to create environments that are caring, have high expectations, and have opportunities for participation, they, in turn, must exist in communities which also provide support and opportunities”

 These are not my words but are from a book about resiliency and positive outcomes for children. They resonate with me more than ever now that I am a parent and I often think about this when I am watching my husband let our almost-4-year old use a real hammer or saw. Inside, I am dying thinking about my child losing a finger or two. But my husband always lets our boys try things and help ‘for real’ around the house with odd jobs. To see the looks on their faces when they get to use real tools, or help push the wheelbarrow, is priceless. They are thrilled that their dad thinks of them as big enough and strong enough to help out. These are the kinds of experiences that help to build a child’s sense of self-worth, of importance, and of belonging.

The quote also fits perfectly for Katie and Sam, since they are constantly giving Logan the opportunity to experience all that life has to offer. He plays soccer, goes to preschool, has play dates, and even does a little spokesmodeling, when he has the chance, for the polar bear plunge. Katie and Sam have never put limits on what Logan can do, and for this, he is rising to every occasion! Through their example and their advocacy, I know that they will change many lives, as they have already changed Logan’s!


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Today

I didn't get to this today.  Today was a busy day.  It was the only day this week that Logan and Maddie have school so I had to do a lot of errands while they were there.  Then we had lunch with Lulu and Darbs, then we came home and I realized my house is a disaster zone.   Now, I literally have 5 minutes until I leave for work.  HOwever, I promised to do 31 entries this month, and I'm going to do it!!!

I did want to share a quick story that brightened my day yesterday.  I decided to take the kids to get their pictures taken yesterday.  I hired an awesome, excellent photographer, dressed the kids in their BEST clothes, packed oodles of delicious, super yummy snacks, and off we went.  All the way there, I was trying to build it up (particularly to Maddie) about how great it was going to be, we were going to be like models.  To Maddie, I said, "You're going to be a beautiful princess, just like Ariel."  She was pumped.

Then we got there and she froze.  She could NOT make herself smile.  Seriously, it would have been hilarious if I hadn't been so pissed.  She wouldn't even LOOK at the camera.  I tried everything, "pizza for dinner, ice cream for dinner, McDonalds for dinner, lollipops for dinner, a new princess movie, ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!!"  I was also trying to be nice in front of the photographer, but on the inside I was screaming, "Ahhhhhh....JUST SMILE"  I even started talking to her through my teeth, you know, so the photographer wouldn't here my threats..."you get over there and hug your brother and sister or else....."

Anyway, it didn't work.  She just kept staring blankly at the camera, then she gave up and just frolicked and skipped around the field while Logan and Georgie laughed and cooed for the camera.  We finally got one picture with Maddie and she ended up growling at the photographer.  Nice manners, huh?

On the way home she was in a delightful mood, talking about how great it was to be a model.  WTH?!?!?  I thought it might be a good opportunity to talk about how it's not really nice to growl at adults.  I was going on and on and on about how we should try to be nice to grown-ups, and really all kids, and blah, blah, blah.  And she was totally not getting it.  Apparently, she likes to growl at people and why should she be nice to people anyway?  This went on and on and on, and I could tell Logan was getting irritated with us because he wanted to watch the Transformers movie I had put on for him as a reward for being so good.  So, Maddie's questioning me, and I'm trying to explain WHY she should be nice to people and all the sudden Logan blurts out, "because it makes everyone happy!!!!" 

Silence in the car.  I was stunned silent because, duh!!!!, that's exactly why you should be nice to everyone and Maddie was stunned silent because it made sense to her.  She goes, "Oh, I like to be happy.  Okay, Logan, I'll be nice from now on."  End of discussion.

Thank God for Logan, you know.  He's totally going to keep this family in line for the rest of our lives.  He just gets life, plain and simple.  He's one amazing kid (although sometimes a pain in the butt).  Very insightful though :)

Also, please, please, please read this tomorrow and Thursday as we have 2 really great posts coming up!!!


Enjoy your rainy Tuesday:)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Friends Are the Family You Choose

I've been thinking about this post for a long time.  I want to write about how great my friends are and how very, very much I love them.  I sometimes, no, actually, a lot of times, feel like my friends save me.  They pull me out of the darkness that sometimes I let engulf me.  You know, those times when you're just feeling so overwhelmed with life, and everything is stressful, and you feel like just curling up with a snuggie on the couch and watching reruns of The Real Housewives of.... over and over and over again?  Maybe that's just me....

But, it's amazing to me how just a quick chat with a good friend can snap you out of that.

When I first had Logan, I spoke with this woman who had a child with DS and, I mentioned the support of my great friends, and she basically told me that she wasn't friends with any of her "old" friends anymore, she was only friends with people who had children with disabilities.  This DEVASTATED me as I already was scared that I would lose all of my friends because we would be living different lives.

But, guess what!!  That's NOT true.  It's not true at all.  You can NOT let that be true.  Because, if you do, then you're letting Down syndrome define you.  You're letting it define your family.  And, worst of all, you're letting it define your child.  And you must NEVER EVER EVER do that.  Down syndrome is ONE characteristic of a million that are you and your family.

So, anyway, back to the friends.  Last week was a particularly hard week.  Not because of Logan, or really anything to do with Logan.  It was just super busy and I was feeling tired and drained.  And, it amazed me, each day how a quick phone call, a donut with daughters, an evening pedicure/sippy cup of wine:) and a chaotic family dinner made me feel so much more energized!!!   It's remarkable the strength you can gather from your girlfriends, isn't it?

Everyone knows that I love my family to death.  But, I also love my friends to death and appreciate everything they do for me.  So much!!  Love you girls:)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

My Sweet Boy

Today I had the absolute pleasure of going to the grocery store with JUST Logan.  What a delightful trip it was!!! 

First of all, Logan is so un-spoiled that when he asked for things, and I said "no" he did NOT have a temper tantrum (Maddie has 20-30 temper tantrums a trip).  Amazing!!!  He just said, "Okay mommy!!"  

He also said hello to every person that we saw.  And, the best part was, everyone said "Hello" back (this doesn't always happen).  I guess there were some happy people at Safeway at 8 a.m. :) 

So, next we went to the butchers and asked for some steak.  Logan was SO excited to have steak for dinner, he kept screaming, "I love steak"  The butcher was cracking up.  Then, the nice butcher, showed Logan how he was cutting the meat.  Logan was like, "Wow...cool."  It was so sweet.

We finished our trip, checked out, grabbed our bags and headed out the door.  Logan took a bag from me and said, "Here mommy, let me help"  And, he carried it to the car. 

When we got all strapped in he said, "thank you mama."  I love this kid.  How great is he?  He THANKS me just for taking him out.

Such a sweet, precious boy.  Not sure what I did to deserve him.....

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Gifts

Love, love, love this video. The book, Gifts, is one of the ONLY books about kids with DS that I recommend. It's the only book I read that didn't scare or depress me.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Questions, Questions....

Someone asked me this weekend, "what are some of the worst things people have asked you about Logan?"  And, I had a response right away, but, as I thought about it some more, I realized there aren't A LOT of things that have offended me over the past 4 years.  Obviously, there are a few, but in general, I'm just really happy that people care enough to ask questions.  I understand that not everyone knows EVERYTHING about Down syndrome, I don't even know everything about DS, but I WANT to share the knowledge that I do have.  So, please, keep asking me questions.  I probably won't be offended, and I love to talk about it and raise awareness.  I also realize that sometimes, in an effort to be "politically correct" you feel like it's better to not say anything at all.  I do NOT agree, ask questions!!!  Show you care, we'll tell you if you aren't being "PC."  Hahaha.

However, their is one question that one person asked and I want to set the record straight right here right now.  Not in 1 million years, not for 100 BILLION dollars would we ever, ever change a thing about Logan, extra chromosome and all.  We feel the same about our girls as well.  We love, and cherish all of our children.

We are so eternally grateful to be Logan's parents.  We feel like we were chosen for a reason.  The hardest thing about being Logan's parents are that we know the stereotypes about people with Down syndrome and it's hard to realize that people sometimes think those things of our child.  But, we try, every day to dispel those myths and stereotypes.

So, please, please, please ask me your questions, tell me your thoughts and share what you know with others.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

College!!!

Dan and Janet Weller are two of our oldest, and dearest friends.  They were also among the first to truly, truly love and accept Logan.  I don't know why, but I remember, so distinctly, them coming over one Sunday morning to play with him and I could just tell that they really loved him and did not care that he had Down syndrome.  You know, it was scary in the beginning, wondering if everyone would accept him, if everyone would love him.  So, it was so reassuring that they did.  And, they have ever since.
What Janet's written about is amazing!! She's definitely gone above and beyond and has done some very in-depth research and has gotten information that could help so many children.
Please, please take a minute to read her blog/article and pass it on to ANYONE who may benefit from this info.
Thanks Janet!!!  We love you guys so much :)

First, her email to me:

Hi Katie,
I've been following your blog this month (I even have it as a bookmark app on my phone!) and have been working on an entry, if you'd like to use it. I had wanted to write something last year, but found myself swamped and never put it all together. I decided this year I would finish what I started last year.
I could easily have written about how much Dan and I love your family and have been challenged and changed by knowing Logan, but I thought that I could possibly do even more good if I tried a little "professional soul searching." In school counseling, one of our largest roles both in the school and in the community is that of advocate. As a college counselor, I asked myself last year, "What can I do to advocate?" So I started doing a little research and this year was able to polish an entry that I had started about college access for students with DS (and other cognitive disabilities, but inspired by Logan and others with DS). I hope this isn't too "clinical" for your blog, but I know I'll keep learning about this and wanted to get the word out there about it. I think that too many people discount the ability of those with DS to attend college -- we shouldn't be doing that! The information that I found also further supports the importance of inclusion (I mention it in here). 
Now, the article:
It’s October 1 and I’m sitting in my office across from a young woman who has moments ago collapsed into a puddle of tears. She struggles with math. Her Mathematics portion of the SAT was too low for her first choice college, and she is devastated. “I won’t get in anywhere!” she moans. Her grades in the subject are no better, and if I’m being honest, it’s not just math. US History and Spanish are flagging as well. I ask, “What have you been doing to try to work through the tough concepts? Have you seen your teachers for help?”
“No. I haven’t had the chance.”
“No free periods or after school hours?”
“No. I’ve been too busy.”
“What if we went together to make an appointment for you to see the teacher, say, next week? That way you could plan in advance to use that time for extra help.”
“She doesn’t like me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true – teachers really want to help. I promise. Really, they do. What evidence do you have that she doesn’t like you?”
“Well…”
And so it begins. College Counseling really is counseling, in case any of you doubted! But as I mentioned, this is October 1, and I know that Katie has started her month-long blog to help raise awareness about DS. So, as I am working through the stages of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with this tearful self-diagnosed dysgraphic teenager, I am also thinking somewhat bitterly about how good she has it. “Bad at math.” I was bad at math, too, I think. I turned out pretty much okay. Try having challenges that you can’t overcome by simply going to see the teacher for extra help.
I have a hard time, sometimes, with privilege as it relates to my job. In my field, we talk often about learning disabilities and access issues, equity in higher education and colleges that open doors. I have a listserv communiqué saved in a resources folder on my computer that lists colleges for the underachiever, colleges for the “B” student, colleges for the kid who needs a second chance, and a list of colleges where students ADHD will find resources. Where would I counsel a student with Down Syndrome to look for college, I think to myself, handing my weeping young friend a tissue.
I have never doubted that Logan can attend college if he chooses, and I’ve always hoped that Katie and Sam will allow me to help advocate for him when the time comes. At present, fewer than a quarter of these students earn post-secondary degrees, but as recently as this past summer, new initiatives were begun to address this issue and there is a lot of reason to hope. There are only around 150 known programs of post-secondary study – with differing rigor and structure – currently in place (compare that with over 2500 four-year traditional undergraduate programs and 1700 two-year certificate or associate programs). Congress reauthorized the Higher Education Opportunity Act in 2008 (it was implemented this past July), however, which has provisions for improving the quantity and quality of post-secondary programs for students like Logan. In addition, the HEOA allows students with intellectual disabilities the opportunity to apply for and earn Pell Grants, Supplementary Educational Opportunity Grants (SEOGs), and Federal Work Study Program.
But policy work can only get us half of the way there. The other half has to do with the student’s own readiness for college, and that piece of the puzzle relates back to one of Katie’s earlier posts about inclusion. Advocates are loudly acknowledging the role that inclusion plays in keeping students with intellectual disabilities motivated, prepared, and challenged to the level that they will pursue higher education. In a February 2009 article in U.S. News and World Report (See? They do have valuable information about college if you ignore that odious rankings list!) featured an interview with Stephanie Smith Lee, senior policy advisor for the National Down Syndrome Society, who extolled the virtues of inclusion in helping students with DS achieve college readiness. A quote from the article:
“Inclusion helps young adults with intellectual disabilities expand their independence, their ability to earn competitive wages, and their ability to be part of a community, Lee says, adding that these are the same skills any college student gains by attending an institution of higher education. Whether students audit one class a semester, challenge themselves to take a few courses for credit, or spend an entire semester simply learning how to take public transportation to and from campus independently, Lee says the benefits of these experiences are evident.”
Lee’s own daughter has DS and dreamed of attending a four-year college. At the time, there were no programs of post-secondary education that would support her in the Washington, D.C. area where the family lived. So, Lee worked with George Mason University to form one that is now recognized as one of the best in the country. Other such programs exist at Mount Aloysius College in Pennsylvania and Becker College in Massachusetts. At the certificate/associate’s level, the Inclusive Concurrent Enrollment Program at Massachusetts Bay Community College is recognized as a leading model. And the numbers are growing. Since the HEOA monies began being distributed at least 54 new programs have been identified or started.
There’s a lot more to learn about HEOA, IDEA, ADA and other policies that support the effort to provide access and equity to students with cognitive disabilities. I plan to study up and use my area of expertise to advocate as best I can. My inspiration to do so is that sweet, funny, kind, stubborn, one-of-a-kind towhead that we all love, and also:




Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Logan's Slideshow

Good Morning!!  Running VERY short on time today, crazy busy day.  So, I thought I would share with you a little slideshow I made of the first 2 years of Logan's life.  I made it to show our to our newest members this weekend at the Chesapeake Down Syndrome New Parents Social!!  I hope you enjoy.
And, please check back tomorrow for an amazing post written by my friend Janet.  It's DEFINITELY a must read!!!
Have a great day everyone :)

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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Best Buds

About 6 weeks after Logan was born, another little angel entered our lives.  Declan O'Conor Bell was born on July 8th and he and Logan have known each other since then.
We did everything with them when the boys are little and this is the first year they're not in some sort of activity together.  We miss them, but luckily see them often.
Declan is an amazing boy, who comes from an amazing family and we're so blessed to have such wonderful friends in our lives.

Here's from Molly and Declan Bell:


Last year Dyer and I expressed how much Logan has touched our lives in these past four years.  For this year’s Downs Syndrome Awareness month, our son Declan wanted to share some of his thoughts.  I was happy to be the conduit because it’s always refreshing to look at life through the eyes of a child.  His words are not profound, but indeed sincere.  After hearing what Declan had to say, I’m even more grateful that my sons have Logi as a friend because he makes all of our lives a thousand times richer just by being a part of them.  We don’t think of it as having a friend with Downs. Logan is just our friend. A great friend, but just a friend, like all the rest. However, we’re not the same as any friend, because God made us each unique, just like snowflakes. Some of us are tall, some of us are not. Some of us have glasses, some of us don’t. Some of us throw righty, some lefty. But, Logan did Gymboree, Declan did Gymboree. Logan sings and dances, Declan sings and dances. Logan enjoyed playing at co-op, Declan enjoyed playing at co-op. Logan talks a lot, Declan talks a lot. Logan loves donuts, Declan loves donuts. Yep, NDSS is right, they are more alike than different!

My Friend Logan

“Logan is my best friend ever. And, we have been best friends, forever. Since we were tiny babies. We have so much fun together.  I love playing lacrosse, teeball, basketball, soccer and golf with him. He is really great at playing dress-ups too. One of my favorite things to do with him is go to the Fourth of July parade. I hope we always do that. Logan is a really good talker. He is always nice.  He gives really good hugs and high fives. And, he always lets Mac play with us.  I just love Logan with all my heart. I think he has really cool eyes, cool shorts, cool shoes, and awesome baseball bats. God made Logan extra happy.  I’m so glad I get to be his friend.”

~ Declan Bell, 4 years old







Monday, October 11, 2010

Follow Up

So, I've gotten A LOT of feedback on my post about Logan having friends.  It seems that a lot of us worry about this!!!  My sister and my mom also reminded me that I used to worry about my brother and father having friends.  Apparently, according to Darbs, I used to get upset when my Dad traveled because I was concerned that he had to eat dinner alone.  I wasn't kidding when I said that I worried A LOT about EVERYTHING.  I really do, and always have.  But, I really appreciate the phone calls, emails, and facebook messages that, a)promised me that I was not alone and, b)reassured me that Logan will have friends.

Really, I just feel like we are so unbelievably blessed to have the most amazing support system in the world.  A big part of me really wants to name names of all of you out there that constantly go above and beyond for us, that are ALWAYS there for us and love us and support us uncondionally, but there's the reasonable, logical part of me that knows I'm still a sleep deprived new mom who's SURE to forget someone and I'm not willing to take that chance.  Sorry!!!  However, I'm pretty sure you all know who you are, and we love you and will always be eternally grateful to you!!!

Also, as part of my follow up on the friend post, and the Hunt's post, I want to share a little email I got from Logan's teacher this weekend.  Again, reiterating that she is the BEST teacher EVER!!!!  She is amazing!! Thanks Ms. Kelley!!!  We love you :)

From Kelley:

Ok as I sit here and try to see the keys to type I'm wiping the tears from my cheeks.  OMG!!!!  I was just reading your Blogs and I read the one about Logan at Hunt's.  WOW!!!  For some reason it is making me cry like a baby.  Just reading that you are so happy with Hunt's and the nice things you said about us makes my heart so happy!!!  So as I sit here and cry happy tears I thought I would comment on your Blogs. BUT I DONT KNOW HOW!!!!!  How do I become a follower if I don't have a Goggle account?  How do I write my own Blog?  I love this idea!!!  If it is too hard to explain in writing I can wait until Monday and you can tell me how to do it.  I'm going to print that Blog and show it to the teachers at Hunts.  Also, the one about you worrying about Logan having friends.....All I can tell you is right now in the three's program he has TONS of friends.  The children fight over who can sit next to him, who can play with him alone, and so on.  It is so funny to watch because Logan is just like "whatever...line up and I'll get to you when I have time".  LOGAN IS AWESOME and he is very liked!!!  I have even had parents come in and ask me who Logan is because their child comes home and talks about him and tells them how much fun they had with Logan that day.  Funny though because I worry about my middle child and making friends.  He is so shy (don't know where he got that) and it is some times painful to watch him socially.  When I hear other boys are getting together and he just sits back and watches or waits to be included, it KILLS me!!! His two brothers always have plans, but not Travis, he will just plug along and be happy with whatever!  I am finding that me pushing him to take initiative with planning is helping.  He has always struggled in school, he is Dyslexic,  and works his butt off to get good grades, while his brothers do the bare minimum and get great grades..   UGH motherhood is so hard!!! Anyway, I'm getting off track, I just want to say thanks for your kind words and for sharing Logan with us!!  I know it is hard not to worry, but just know that he is doing great at school and has many friends.  You actually should be worried about what a "ladies man" he is.  Girls LOVE him!!!!!  Have a great weekend and I'll talk to you on Monday.  Love you guys!!!!  Kelley
P.S.   Tell Maddie I have PLENTY of lipstick for her next year when she is in my class!!!  LOL!!!  I LOVE LIPSTICK TOO!!!!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Field Trip!!!

 Logan and I got to go on a field trip on together on Thursday.  It was super fun!!!   Sam drove Maddie to school and Logan, Georgie and I went to the farm to meet up with his class.  I often get to spend one-on-one time with Maddie because she insists on it, but I don't do it with Logan as much as I want to.  I know I had Georgia with me, but she's so easy, it was basically one-on-one.  Anyway, we had a blast!!  He ran through the hay maze, LOVED the little turkeys that were gobbling around, wasn't a huge fan of the hay ride, but also loved riding all the cool tractors and pretending to be in charge of the hay ride.  I was a really, super awesome mom and brought my good camera so I could take great pictures to share with you all, but, guess what!, I didn't charge the camera's battery.  Soooooo, there were a lot of really great shots I COULD have taken, but didn't because the camera was dead.  I did capture a few with my handy cell phone camera, so take a look and enjoy and have a GREAT Sunday.
Go Ravens!!!









Saturday, October 9, 2010

The Difference Between Girls and Boys

First of all, let me start by saying, ahhhhhh, it's Saturday. Crazy busy week, and another one coming up so it's nice to be sitting here sipping coffee and relaxing!! Hope everyone else is doing the same.

Luckily, I have a hair appointment in a few hours, so Sam has to take Logan to soccer (hehehe...planned that one well, huh?)

So, as we were rushing out of the house the other day to go to school, Maddie all the sudden screamed, "I need my lipstick!!!!" That kind of stopped me in my tracks, because, WHAT?!?!? I DON'T even wear lipstick. How does she even know what it is? However, in an effort to avert a temper tantrum, I dug out some chapstick from my purse and watched as she very delicately applied it in the bathroom mirror. I basically just stood staring at her with my mouth hanging open.

I've sorta felt this way since she was born. Maddie and Logan are SO different, and so stereotypically girly and boyish. Logan would NEVER put lipstick or chapstick on. He doesn't even like it when we put lotion on him after his bath. And, speaking of baths, Logan HATES baths. Why? Because he LOVES dirt. He seeks dirt out. He'll walk 20 feet out of his way to jump in a puddle on a rainy day. Maddie will walk 20 feet out of her way to AVOID that same puddle. She doesn't like to get her shoes messy. She has, I don't know, maybe 30 pairs of shoes. Logan has 3 pairs.

One day last spring, it rained. It was the perfect rainy day to play outside. So, I put their boots and raincoats on and out we went. Logan thought this was the greatest thing of his life!!! Maddie thought I was trying to torture her, and finally just asked if she could go in to go to sleep. She was holding her hand up to her head as if to say, "This God awful experience has so exhausted me, I need to take to my bed immediately."

Very, very different these kids.

When I pick Logan up from school, I ask him a million questions about his day, "How was your day?" "Did you have fun at school?" "Did you play with any friends?" "Did you make a craft?" "Did you have a snack?" "Did you go outside?" IF I get an answer, it's a version of no (nope, nah, NOOOOOO).

Maddie, on the other hand, tells me step-by-step what she's done from the minute I dropped her off, until the minute I pick her up. It goes something like this, "first, i played play dough at the table, I sat next to Sabrina and Sam, we made apples. Then, I took care of my babies, Mrs. Judy helped me. Mrs. Judy loves me, I'm her best friend. Then we did circle time and I sang 3 songs. The letter of the day is C and we learned about the number 3. For snack, we had............." And it goes on and on and on like this until I put her down for her nap. SOMETIMES she wakes up TALKING about her day (you know, in case she forgot something).

Anyway, it's just funny to me. These kids of mine....so different.

Alright, I'm off to paint Maddie's nails :)

Happy Saturday everyone.