Cheering

I have to write this, because it's so awesome, but I only have about 5 minutes, so I apologize profusely for any typos:)

Logan had gym class today, which he loves, but possibly not his strongest subject.  In a few weeks, the kids are having a race (the turkey trot) so I'm assuming they're practicing for the race in gym (1/4 mile for first graders).

Anyway, I'm stuck in the house with a sick 3 year old all day, so I'm catching up on alllllllll the unendless laundry and also have all the windows open because I need the germs OUT.   As a result of windows open, I've been hearing the sweet little kiddies practicing for their race on the field across the street from our house all day.  I love hearing the kids out playing!!

So, I'm in my room (front of the house) putting laundry away this afternoon, and all the sudden, what do I hear, but "Logan, Logan, Logan" coming from across the street.  I quickly pull up Logan's schedule in my head and, yup, he's in gym right now!!!  I run out, Sam's in the driveway and he hears it too.  We couldn't see Logan, but we saw the kids cheering and jumping for him.  I thought maybe he was coming in last and they were cheering for him, but it turns out they gave a him a little head start and then cheered for him the whole time.

Who are these children?!?!?!  I mean this is a world where we hear of bullying and terrible, awful things happening to and because of children alllll the time, but these kids are letting Logan win and cheering for him.  Seriously, it brings tears to my eyes every time I think of it.  These kids have hearts of gold, they're amazing, Logan's amazing.  This is a great story, I wish I could express it better, I wish you could fully explain how my heart felt when I heard them cheering for him.  I wish you could fully understand how much it meant to Logan, how big the smile was on his face.  I just don't have the words (and also, Maddie is MELTING down because she doesn't understand her homework and Georgia is saying she's going to throw up so I kinda have to scoot).

Also, I NEED to tell you about the day I went in to talk to Logan's class about DS.  Again, a really great experience.  First graders ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Peeps

I ran into my beautiful, wonderful friend Leigh today and we started to talk about the blog.  Leigh is a friend I met after I had Logan, Logan and her son went to preschool together.  Anyway, Leigh said that she loved reading the blog post I wrote about the first couple weeks of Logan's life.  I hadn't read it in a while so I came home and looked it up.

I realized that all the same things I wrote in there about our friends and family continue to be true and it's so amazing to me.

If you haven't read it, here it is (http://logands.blogspot.com/2009/10/mine.html)

In that post I openly admit that I did not have faith that our friends and family would stand by us, I thought eventually they would all ditch us and move on with their typical lives (in Italy) and we would be living our lives all alone over in Holland.  (I know that's maybe a confusing analogy for some of you, but my peeps in the DS world will get it, it's not exactly my fave analogy anymore).

Anyway, I go on to say that I was very, very wrong.  Everyone loved us and Logan and took care of us and helped us and celebrated with us and it was perfect.

What I realized today is that I continue to doubt people, and I don't know why!!! because they continue to come through for us.  When Logan started school, I was sure that he wouldn't be loved or accepted, but, of course he was (Leigh is proof of that!!!).

When we moved into this neighborhood and started a new school, I was a nervous wreck!!  I thought for sure that it would be a disaster and I would have to home school Logan and he woulnd't have any friends.  You have NO IDEA how wrong I was about that.  Logan is so loved at school, the parents of the kids who are in his grade are so amazing, and kind and open minded and they have created a community in which my child is loved, adored, protected and nurtured.  I'm so eternally grateful for every person in this fabulous neighborhood who has welcomed us with open arms and accepted Logan and helped him blossom.

Today I'm going to talk to Logan's class about DS.  I'm just going to read them a little story and give them some 3 egged brownies.  It's something I did last year and the kids loved it.  On Tuesday, I sent an email to the parents and told them I would be going in today.  So many people responded thanking me and telling me how much their child loves Logan.  I can't believe they're thanking me!!!!!  I'm the one who is so, so, so thankful for all the good people in this world who are working hard, with me, to make this world a better place for all of our children.

Life can be very hard sometimes, and there are definitely bad people in this world, but there are also some very, very, very good people and having Logan has given us the ability to see so much of that goodness.  That is truly a blessing.

Bleh, bleh, bleh

Oh Lord, this is much harder to do than I even thought it was going to be.

I first thought, this is hard because our life is so boring!!!  But, I don't know, that must have been a moment of confusion or delusion or something because our lives aren't boring AT ALL, possibly the complete opposite of boring, so I don't know why on earth that thought would have ever popped in my head.

Then, I thought, I don't really have anything to write about because while we aren't "boring" we aren't exactly interesting either.  We actually aren't interesting at all.  I think that's what I meant/thought by "boring."

So, I was going to right that, "Our lives are boring and uninteresting and we're happy with that."  Lalalalala.

BUT, then 2 things happened; I remembered that I really, really hate it when I read blogs or fb posts or newspaper articles about people talking about how great their lives are, how perfect their kids are, how fan-freaking-tastic everything is.  I really don't like that because I know it makes other people feel bad and who would want to do that?  Then, the second thing happened, which is that Maddie (whom I previously wrote wonderful things about in another post) turned evil.  Not completely evil, just before school, after school and before bed, and sometimes in between after school and before bed.  The child is literally fighting with me about every, single possible thing under the sun.  And, to be perfectly honest, it's driving me CRAZY!!!!!  And, it's turned me into a cranky, grumpy, grump that doesn't want to write anything at all.  Can I just give you a quick example?  So, every morning I try to "do" her hair.  I always put it up in a ponytail, braid or bun mainly because I have an irrational fear of lice and I read once that it's hard for the little buggers to "jump" into hair that's pulled back but also because it's crazy hair and I don't want it to get in her face while she's working or playing.  Anyway, for the past week or so she's yelled at me that she hates ponytails and everyone will laugh at her if she wears her hair in a ponytail and blah, blah, blah.  So, I'm a big believer in picking my battles and that's not really a battle I needed to have with her so I let it go.  Today, she wears her hair down, we pull up to school, her little BFF comes up to her with her hair in a ponytail and Maddie whines to me, "ohhhhh, you NEVER put my hair in a ponytail." And it made me want to scream!!!  You see where I'm coming from?

Anyway, there's absolutely NO POINT to that story except that I just needed to get it off my chest.

Back to the point.  I do feel bad about not writing this blog though because I agreed to do the 31 for 21 challenge and now I'm wimping out on it.  Everyone's lives are busy and everyone has stuff going on and everyone else seems to handle it while I just get grumpy and cranky.

So, here's my thing for today.  Logan has been in a really, really, REALLY happy mood for the past few weeks.  I think he's gotten in his groove at school, and he's making progress, and we've got some other things that we've been working on that have all just clicked and it makes me so ridiculously happy to hear him chat away about school and his friends and all the things he does.  I'm proud of him and I'm proud of us too because we (me and Sam) worked really hard to get him to this place and I'm going to make a valiant effort to just enjoy this wonderful time and be grateful for at least one kids happiness.

I mean I guess all the kids can't be happy all the time.  Right now we have 1 out of 3 (Georgie's sick so she's grumpy too) and that's better than 0 out of 3.  Right?

Feeling so grateful for this....

https://kcdsg.securednerd.com/files/content/termination%20rate.pdf

Can't imagine our lives with my sweet boy!  Glad others are seeing the light too!

"Every day is a good day when you run"

Love this quote from Kevin Nelson!!

I used to HATE running, seriously, it took me about 6 months to train to run 4 miles in the inagural Baltimore Running Festival relay 12 years ago.  In that race, I completed 4 miles in 52 minutes.  YIKES!!

A few months after I had Logan, I joined a gym and started working out, pretty much for the first time in my life.  I found that not only did I feel physically better, working out helped me so much mentally.

The first year of Logan's life was stressful.  There was a lot of stuff for us to learn, a lot to do, a lot of doctors appointments, therapy appointments, just general craziness.  Spending an hour at the gym gave me time to process and plan better.  It was so important to me, I made time for it everyday.

A few years ago, I started to run again.  Just a mile or 2 at a time, I still hated it but not as much.  I never got that "runners high" or felt particularly fabulous afterwards, I still dreaded it.

I don't know how or when, but something switched in me at some point and now I love to run, I crave it, I think about it all the time, when I finish a run, I can't wait for the next one.  It's when I get my best thinking done, I still use that time to process and plan, I have some of my best ideas when I'm running.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes my runs suck.  But, more and more, they're awesome, fun, relaxing and therapeutic.

Running.  Another gift from my buddy.

Teachers

I have a bigger, greater post that I'm working on that will better reflect how I feel about these amazing people in Logan's life but I feel like Logan's teachers, his actual schoolteachers, deserve a whole blog of their own.

Just so you all know, I was a teacher before Logan was borng.  I was getting my masters in Special Education from TU while I was pregnant with Logi.  Sooooo, I have a TON of respect for the educators in this world, I always have.

However, seeing the way that Logan's teachers have treated him since he entered school has raised my level of respect for them higher than I ever thought possible.

Logan has been in school since he was 3.  He started in the 2s program at a little preschool right up the street, he's been fully included with his typically developing peers every year of his 5 year school career and EVERY SINGLE TEACHER he has ever had has worked their butt off for him.  They've made modifications to the work for him, they've communicated with me (ad nauseam, because I'm a pain in the ass and require constant communication;) , they've loved him and protected him and they've taught him SO much.

I know we won't always be so lucky, but today I feel so blessed for the 9 teachers that Logan has had so far, my family will be eternally grateful to them.

Growing Up

As almost all of you know, it's pouring buckets here in B-more.  All 3 kids had school today, so I decided it would be a great time to clean the house.  Not just clean the house, clean the house, purge the house of toys and clothes that we no longer need.  I naively thought I could do the whole house in the 3 hours that Georgia was at school.  Baaahaaahaaaa.  Yeah right, we have so much junk I now think it might takes months, even years, to clean this house.

However, I was lucky enough to get through the bedrooms (the kids bedrooms).  And, I have to say, as much as I hated doing it, it was kind of a cathartic thing to do.  I do enjoy cleaning and getting rid of things, I just sometimes feel sentimental about getting rid of them.

I started with Logan's room and the awesome thing is that he's grown out of most of his clothes from last year.  I KNOW a lot of you may be wondering why that's a "good" thing and it's because, for a long time, Logan didn't grow very fast.  Don't get me wrong, he's certainly not growing at warp speeds now, but he is growing, getting taller and thinner, he's losing all his baby fat!!!!!  That makes me sad.  But, I'm happy he's growing.  We don't have shirts with cars or teddy bears on them anymore, now it's Star Wars and Under Armour.

Next, I cleaned out his toy chest.  This is where I get REALLY sad.  My sadness stems from the matchbox cars.  Logan loved matchbox cars for years and year, the movie, "Cars" was his favorite.  He would spend hours in his room playing with the cars.  As I was sorting them all, I realized he hasn't played with cars in a really long time, like maybe a year.  And, I don't know, it just hurt my heart a little.  I really loved my babies when they were  babies, I loved my squishy, kissable, lovable Logi bear, but he's not really a baby anymore.  He's really growing up and while that does make me sad, because I'll forever miss the sweet, amazing baby that he was, I'm really happy and excited to see him grow up.

He's a pretty neat kid and I'm so enjoying getting to know him.  I mean I've always known him, but now he's expressing himself so much more and he's funny!!!  And he's really kind and very empathetic.  He's happy and sweet and smart but also very stubborn and a little manipulative at times.  He's also a really, really hard worker and that's maybe the thing I admire in him the most.  Things do not come easy for him, but he never gives up and he doesn't complain, he just keeps working.

Today, I'm truly just feeling so blessed to be able to watch this boy grow into an amazing young man.  I'm happy to see the effect he has on others, and the way he's changing lives and minds.  He's a pretty cool little guy!

On a completely different note, anyone interested in a couple thousand matchbox cars? :)

Ahhhh....the mornings:)

I'm not going to sugar coat this blog post today.  Mornings are pretty much the bane of my existence.  I wrote about  mornings a few years ago on this blog (can't find that post at the moment) however, things haven't changed that much. 

I loathe waking up, especially when it's cold out, I would love to just sleep in my bed, all cozy and warm, until I wake up on my own.  Obviously, that's not an option.  Soooooo, I set my alarm clock for 7 a.m. and almost always wake up determined to have a quiet, calm morning.  It almost NEVER happens.  Other stuff happens, like we can't find the exact dress that Maddie wants to wear, or the exact socks that Georgie wants to wear, I don't often understand how Maddie wants her hair done, I haven't packed the correct stuff in their lunches, etc.,etc., etc.  Logan doesn't really complain in the morning because he's usally busy eating.  He generally eats 4 pieces of toast, a couple of bananas and sometimes a few waffles too.  Logan is a VERY SLOW eater so this takes him almost the whole morning.  

Anyway, I'm not going to go into all the gory details, but it's usually a cluster f--k from about 8:15-8:30 when I finally drop them off at school.  (Yes, I drop them off because we don't have 1 extra minute to spare to walk across the street to school.  No judging!!!!)

Almost everyday last year, when we got to school, Logan decided he didn't want to go to school anymore.  At that point, I would bribe him with anything and everything I could possibly think of, "Logan, if you go to school, you can play the wii when you get home for 18 hours, you can have pizza and tacos for dinner, I'll take you to get an extra large snowball, you can play with my phone allllll night long, please, please, please get out of the car and go to school.  PLEASE!!!"  Eventually, he would take pity on me and hop out and then very, very, very slowly meander to the door (sometimes it would take him 15 minutes to walk about 50 feet.)

That was last year.  This year has been a little better because Maddie is going with him and he likes that, there still not always great.  But, THIS MORNING!!!! Ahhhh, this morning was the BEST!!  We got out of the house on time, pulled up to school behind our friends.  Logan hopped out, kissed my cheek and took off with his buddy.  The crossing guard crossed them, some little girls he went to preschool with ran up behind him calling his name, he said "hi" then continued on with his pal.  He stopped about halfway up, turned around to wait for Maddie, then they all took off together.  I actually stood there and cried because I LOVE mornings like this, I LIVE for mornings like this.  It's the very best.  And, I don't owe him anything when he gets home today:)

Panic Has Set In

I was really, really proud of myself yesterday for my idea and for writing an actual blog post.  I mean, really, really proud.  For, like, an hour.  Then, panic set in!!!  What on EARTH was I thinking?!?!  Writing about "my blessings" every day for the rest of the month?!?!?  Dear Lord, that's a lot of blessings. And, let me tell you, it's not all sunshine and roses up in here.  I know I have a lot of blessings, I'm just not sure I can muster up the energy to always write about them.

However, I will try.

I do have one for today, though.  Yesterday, when Maddie came home from school I showed her this really cool video because she absolutely LOVES that song, and because she has a brother with Down syndrome (full disclosure: we talk about DS in this house often, not a lot, but often.  We talk about it with Maddie and Georgia and Logan, everyone knows Logan has it, and all questions are welcomed and answered honestly so it's not really a big deal).  Anyway, I showed her the video because I was hoping she would like it.  Sometimes, Maddie can be a bit of a grump and not appreciate things that I think she'll surely love.  But, there's one thing (person) that always brings a smile to Maddie's face, her brother.  I showed her the video and she smiled the whole time, then asked to watch it again.  After the second time she looked at me with such a happy look on her face and said, "aww mom, it's so special because people with Down syndrome can do anything."  YESSSSSS!!!  Yay Maddie, thank you for getting it!!!!

Now, please don't think I'm writing, "Oh, I Have the very best child in all the universe" because I am most certainly NOT writing that.  Maddie is of equal pain-in-the-assness as her brother (and don't even get me started on the littlest one) BUT the one thing about Maddie is that she LOVES Logan more than anything on this earth and the feeling is mutual.  They are each other's people, they are soul mates.  It's such a relief to see their love for each other, it makes my heart happy.

Maddie, I'm sure, will have a rough road ahead of her.  She's already had some comments from kids at school about her brother (size, behavior, speech, etc.) but I'm hoping that we can give her enough confidence and love to hold her head high and deal with these comments with poise and courage.  In the meantime, I'm just going to keep on thanking my lucky stars for this sassy, spunky, super smart (and sometimes a smart ass) girl.

We Are Blessed....

Lots of people say this to me, "you are so blessed."  Meaning, we are blessed to be Logan's parents, Logan is blessed to be our child, Maddie and Georgia are blessed to be his sister, etc.,etc.

I think about this statement every time I hear it and wonder what that means?!? It baffles me occasionally because, to be honest, sometimes I forget how blessed we are because, well (again, just being honest), Logan can be a real pain in the ass.  I'm pretty sure he's not a pain in the ass because he has 47 chromosomes but because he's a 7 year old boy and, truthfully, that's more of who he is than anything else.

He's just a crazy, wild, LOUD boy!  Overly enthusiastic about sports and Star Wars, under enthusiastic about school and homework, very, very happy to annoy and irritate his sisters, and not above blackmailing his parents to get what he wants kind-of-boy.  Last time I checked, these were just that, boy things, not DS things.  So, yeah, more alike than different.

I think that's why I had trouble drumming up inspiration for the blog this month, because even though the extra chromosome is a part of Logan and our family, it's not who he is or who we are.  However, this month is a time of reflection for me and I do believe we are very, very blessed to have Logan in our lives, and I believe Logan is very, very blessed to have all of YOU in his life.  So, that's going to be the theme of the blog this month, our blessings.  Hopefully, each day, I'll get a hot minute to write some stuff down about our blessings.

For today, I'm pretty happy with the fact that Logan is a pain in the ass.  For a while, after he was born, I was afraid he wouldn't be "just a boy", but he is.  He totally is.  And, even though I don't care for Star Wars or SportsCent er or irritating his sisters, I'm secretly glad he loves all those things and I feel blessed that he does.

Stay tuned....