Finally!!!!

Sorry, it's taken so long.
Here's my last post:

My Beautiful Little Angel

Oh, my little Logi, where do I even begin to describe him? He’s literally the most beautiful person I have ever met. Every day, he blesses me with his pure joy, exuberance and determination. Not only is he an angel right here on earth, he’s also my personal hero.

When Logan was first born, I thought a couple of things. The first being, okay, so he probably won’t go to college, or live on his own, or get married or be the President of the United States. This didn’t necessarily upset me, or break my heart, but it was tough to change my goals for my firstborn son.

However, when Logan rolled over ON HIS OWN for the first time at 4 weeks old, I thought, hmmmm, maybe we SHOULD start that college fund we’ve been talking about.


When he began to flirt with every woman who walked in our front door, or every girl that smiled at him, I thought, hmmmm, maybe he will get married.

This fall, when he insisted on walking into preschool on the first day on his own, I thought, yeah, he’ll probably be moving out of my house one day.....Especially since he thinks that he’s completely independent at the ripe old age of 3.

And, to be completely honest, I’m GLAD he won’t be President of the United States one day. What a stressful, non-fun job that is!!! That kind of pressure can’t be healthy.

Therefore, I thought Logan would lead us on a different road than the one we had planned, but it turns out, it’s the same road. The only “difference” is that we get to move down that road a little slower than the average person, which allows us to really enjoy the road. We get to celebrate every single accomplishment and milestone. It’s such a beautiful experience to be happy for everything your child accomplishes, rather than worried about what your child hasn't accomplished yet.

Besides all of that, he’s just the joy of our lives. I swear to you that he wakes up every, single day with a smile on his face. He goes to sleep every single night also, with a smile on his face. And, sometimes when I sneak into his room in the middle of the night for one more sweet kiss, he smiles. This is why he’s my hero!

Logan challenged me to be a better person every day. He has a constant stream of therapies and Doctors appointments but he’s always smiling. He LOVES everyone, no matter what. He says hello to everyone in the grocery store which makes them smile in turn. I believe he challenges everyone to be better. Sam was right, he could bring world peace (even if he isn’t President).


Logan is just an amazing person. At the age of 3, he’s inspired me, Sam and many of you. I certainly hope that together we can inspire people out there to understand and realize that DS is not something to be scared of.....It’s something to embrace!!!

Mine

So, turns out, I had a lot to write. I've split it up into 2 parts so it's not so long people lose interest.
Here's part I:

By: Katie Hudson

In the early morning hours of May 24, 2006, just hours after the birth of our beautiful baby boy, a Neonatologists walked into our hospital recovery room and told us that they were going to medivac Logan to Johns Hopkins Hospital because they suspected he had a heart defect, fluid in his lungs, a misaligned stomach tract and…Down syndrome. Wow!! I thought, really? That’s quite a lot to unload on a young, happy, unsuspecting couple in the middle of the night…right? Anyway, you would think that news would overwhelm me, or scare me, and I was scared, don’t get me wrong, but I just knew that everything would be okay. I had this beautiful, serene feeling wash over me, and I promised it would be okay. Everything was going to be fine.

My biggest concern, from that moment on, was Logan’s heart. There was a large hole in it that needed to close in order for him to breathe on his own. I was also concerned about the fluid in his lungs and his need to be on oxygen. I did not even think about Down syndrome.

However, 3 days later, on May 26, 2006 the “test results were back.” We were told that morning that WE would not get the results until 1 p.m. that afternoon. Ummm, if he doesn’t have Down syndrome, why don’t you just tell us now, I thought. Clearly there was a problem. My suspicions were confirmed when 3 doctors and 2 nurses escorted us to a gigantic conference room with cups of water in hand. I don’t know why I remember the cups of water, but it kind of made me chuckle as they we were walking down the long, long empty hallway. I think I was maybe a little panicked that it wasn’t DS afterall, maybe it was something far worse, are we going to be crying so hysterically that we’ll need water to rehydrate us, I wondered.

Luckily, the doctor confirmed to us that Logan’s genetic results came back and he did, in fact, have Down syndrome…phew!! Nothing worse. Again, the calm, peaceful feeling washed over me and I knew we would be okay. I knew Sam and I were strong enough to handle this, I know we were the PERFECT people to have Logan. I honestly felt that we had been chosen for a reason. The 3 of us would be awesome together.
So, this is what’s really, really hard for me to admit. I’m so ashamed of myself and it makes me sad to even remember that I felt this way. While I knew Sam and I would be okay. I doubted my friends and family. I doubted everyone. Can you believe that? Let me explain myself before you slam down your computer!! Most of my friends were having children at the same time as me, some had older ones, some were still in the planning stages, but everyone was on that course. Many friends pointed out that this was great news because our kids would grow up together and accept Logan and never know he’s different. I didn’t believe that. I thought we would probably try to stay connected, but I was pretty sure that our lives would be so completely different that we wouldn’t have time to stay friends anymore. They all had typically developing children, and Logan would be delayed. We wouldn’t have anything in common and I didn’t want to “slow” them down. I just really felt that I would have to make all new friends.
I also didn’t have much faith in our family. None of us new anything about DS, how could I expect them to understand what we had to go through? I believed our parents would be there, but wasn’t so sure about all the rest. No, I was resolved that it would be just the 3 of us from now on.


I realize that we had tons of people coming to visit us, but I truly thought they just felt sorry for us, and that it would stop soon. Boy, was I wrong!!

I guess things started to change for me the following Monday. All weekend long, we had been asking people to just pray that the hole in his heart would close on it’s own so he wouldn’t need to have surgery. On Monday morning, I was in his room by myself when the ultrasound tech came in to check his heart one last time. I’ll never forget the tech looking up at me and whispering, “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but the hole’s gone. It closed up. That’s not something we see everyday.” Wow!! It still makes me cry remembering that moment. A few minutes later the nurse ran in to tell me the good news, she called it a “miracle.” She said, “people must have been praying pretty hard at church yesterday.”
I sort of had a light bulb moment, thinking, really? People had actually prayed for this, for us?

I began to think, okay, maybe I’ll let a few people in to help us (BUT only the very best people). Only the people that will totally and completely love and support Logan. I was determined to only surround myself and my baby with the MOST kind and caring people I could. I was going to build the best support system ever. Turns out, I didn’t have to, it was build for me!!

Fast forward to exactly a year later, looking around at the 100+ people who came to Logan’s 1st birthday party on a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon. I was so thankful that I had been so wrong, a little shocked at just how wrong I had been, but happy nonetheless. I wish I had known then, what I know now.

God never gives you more than you can handle. Even if you think you can’t do it, look around because He makes sure you have the resources to deal with every difficult situation.

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to all of you who I doubted. Everyone who made us dinners, and called every single day to check on us, everyone who sent us cards and flowers, all of you who plunge in the icy cold waters of the Chesapeake bay in January for us, all of you who did the DS walk/run this year, all of you who come to the Special Olympics for the opening ceremonies with us, and to everyone who’s stopped using the r-word. I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you.
You were always there for me. You were ALWAYS there.

But more special than that, you’re there for Logan. You love him…and I know that now. You’ll always look out for him…and I know that now. My friends were right about our children growing up together…and I know that now. Kids already love Logan and watch out for him…and I know that now. He will be accepted by them…because of you!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sam's Post

So, Sam wrote today's post and I'm not going to be all gushy and gross about how it. But, I do want to say that Logan is the luckiest little guy in the world to have Sam as his daddy. Really, Sam loves Logan so much. So, so, so much. He is the most amazing Dad to both of our children, and the feeling is definitely mutual!!

By: Sam Hudson

Many people can separate their lives into two phases: before kids and after kids. For me, no matter how many kids I have, it will always be: before Logan and after Logan. Kids change their parents’ lives forever by causing them to accept certain responsibilities that are necessary for the children’s development. Not only did Logan cause this typical change in me, but he has also changed me in a more drastic way. Before Logan, I did not realize that I truly did not respect everyone. I was living my life with blinders on. I may have noticed those that were different than me, but I would not choose to interact with them. I used slang terms that I thought were funny, but I never realized that those same terms would hurt other people. I was living a selfish life where everything needed to be just right in my world, and it didn’t matter what others were doing.



After Logan was born, I thought my life was going to be a lot more difficult than your typical family with a new baby. I quickly realized that my life was not about me…it was about Logan. I know a lot of people have this same feeling about their 1st born child, but there was something about Logan that was special, and it wasn’t his extra chromosome. I could tell Logan was going to do great things, and he would impact lives unlike I could ever aspire to do. On the surface, there are a few things that make Logan who he is and why he is not like all the other kids. Logan has a face that lights up a room. His laugh is infectious. His hair is “to die for”. His dance moves are unparalleled by no other. Under the surface, he has even stronger assets. His hugs could quite possibly bring world peace. His determination in daily tasks today gives a glimpse of his attitude for the future. He exudes love all the time; when he is at school, watching Elmo, or just on the playground.



A lot of people have written how they were sad at first to hear the news that Logan had DS. They have now realized the blessing that Logan has become to us. However, I am pretty sure that there are other people who still feel sad for my family. These people feel this way because they are still fixated on a selfish world that is just right for them. I cannot express enough the positive impact that Logan brings to my family and people who interact with him. He has added more happiness for us because of everyone else’s standards for Logan. Every milestone that he accomplishes is such a joy because of everyone else’s standards of Logan (i.e. people think Logan should not be able to do certain things since he has a syndrome that causes delayed development.) It is a good thing that Katie and I have standards for Logan that will continue to “impress” and make a positive impact on everyone that interacts with Logan over the years. Logan needs to continue to “impress”, so those people that are like the way I used to be, can become the way I am today.



Logan,

Thank you for being you. You bring the best out in me, and I love you for that. When you read this one day, you will probably ask yourself, “Why did all these people write this blog about me?” The answer is: Because all of these people recognize that you are a special person and you have made an impact on their lives. You may not realize it, but even as a 3-year-old, you always had the power to make people smile, and the ability to change their views on life.



Katie,

Thanks for organizing this. The fact that you followed through in getting this together shows how much Logan has changed us. The response we have received is another example of how many lives Logan has touched. P.S. Logan thanks you too.

A Perfect Gift

As I've said earlier Sam and I could not have gotten through those first few months of Logan's life without all 4 of our wonderful parents. Even now, we depend on them constantly. They are the ones who have given us the strength and courage to continue to pursue our dream of changing the stigma associated with disablilities.
Nancy and Fred, Sam's parents, have been so wonderful because they have loved Logan totally and unconditionally since the moment they met him. I LOVE seeing Logan through their eyes because their love is so pure. And, I have to admit, Logan just loves and adores them. Recently, after speding the morning with them, he woke up from his nap and said, "Mama, I love Mimi....and Fred" Logan does not usually call his granddad Fred, but decided it was silly at the time. Actually, "granddad" was surprisingly one of Logan's first words!!! Amazing, huh?
Anyway, the love between Logan and his grandparents is just beautiful!!
Thanks Nancy and Fred. We all love you so much.

From Mimi and Granddaddy:

A gift. Perhaps a perfect gift. We have been blessed with five perfect little gifts - our grandchildren, Lauren, Will, Martha, Logan and Maddie. What joy each of them has brought us and we love them so dearly. And, of course, each of them is unique and very special. But little could we imagine the perfect gift that Logan would be and how much he has already given us - and he’s only three and a half years old!

When Logan was born, our first thought was for Logan’s health, and our second thought was for Sam and Katie. And we worried. We worried about the three of them and the difficulties they might face (of course, our grandchildren always say “Mimi is such a worrywart!). And then we received what we think of as Logan’s first gift to us. As parents, we all endlessly worry about our children, but the birth of Logan has allowed us to see how wonderful our son, Sam, and daughter-in-law, Katie, are. Of course, we already knew that, but Logan’s gift has been to fill our hearts with such pride in seeing what wonderful parents they have become. Still, we worried as each new crisis developed - the operation on his Achilles tendons, the hard casts on both legs (much to Sam’s disappointment the casts were blue and not Raven’s purple), the shoes with the bar. But these difficulties served to strengthen his legs so he quickly began to crawl and then walk. What a gift to see his resilience and perseverance.

As parents and grandparents we all marvel and take joy in our children’s and grandchildren’s new accomplishments, but each of Logan’s new milestones from nursing, eating, crawling, walking, talking, playing with his little sister, Maddie, and his cousins and friends, to now going to school (Wow!), has a certain poignancy. Again, another gift. One that helps us to slow down and really see and appreciate, not take for granted, the little steps that could seem ordinary and simple, but are truly momentous.

We remember reading the story “Welcome To Holland” just after we learned that Logan was born with Down Syndrome (if you haven’t read it, you must). Although we were never concerned that Logan had Down Syndrome, for to us he was just our precious, adorable grandson, this short story has a way of putting life into perspective, not only for those with disabilities, but for all of us. For none of us know what paths our children’s lives will take nor what their ultimate abilities will be, but with proper guidance and love it can be a truly remarkable and beautiful journey, although maybe different from our expectations. We think Logan has shown all of us that this is so true.

As we have read the blogs that everyone has written and our eyes have welled up and our hearts have burst with joy, we realize what a wonderful gift everyone has received. Even though our families were already blessed with such loving relatives and dear, dear friends, Logan’s birth has given us a heightened awareness and reminded us of the true value of life. If only we all could possess such a pure heart that gives love so freely and accepts love so completely.

And so, as we enjoy our moments with our adorable, precious, lovable, delightful and full of fun little grandson, Logan (okay, we know we’re gushing, but we are grandparents!), we are struck by the positive impact his life has had on everyone already. Our lives have been affected by his sweet touch, light as a butterfly’s on each of us, but glorious as the richness of its color. A touch that will perhaps let us bloom more fully in understanding and love. Now that’s a perfect gift.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Another Amazing Friend

Meg Miles and I have been friends since freshman year of high school, which, actually wasn't that long ago ;) Meg is such an amazing person. She has such a deep inner strength, it radiates off of her. I'm truly blessed to have her as my friend because not only does she often lend me her strength, but she is incredibly rational so she helps me solve many problems.
Unfortunately, even though we both have 2 children each they are all 4 different ages. So, Meg and I see each other quite often at our "girls night" dinners but our kids don't get together as often as we would like. Meg has 2 beautiful boys and, even though they aren't "close" now I'm sure they'll be great friends, just like Meg and me, when they're older.
Thanks Meg!!

By Meg Loester

Katie was the first of all of my friends to get pregnant and I couldn’t have been happier for her and Sam! Throughout her pregnancy I was so excited by the idea of a new baby joining the gang. I’ll never forget the day she called to tell me that Logan was diagnosed with Down syndrome. When I hung up the phone I was shocked, confused and sad for my friend and her family.

Katie and Sam were young and healthy and the last people I would expect to have a baby with DS. I was so worried about how this would affect Katie and Sam’s lives, both now and in the future. But over these last three years, I have seen what a blessing Logan has been to their family. I have never seen a child more loved than Logan Hudson. The first year of his life there was always a line of people waiting to get their hands on the little guy. At parties I had to wait patiently for the grandparents, aunts and uncles to have their time with him, but occasionally I was lucky enough to hold the happy baby who always made me smile. These days it’s still difficult to have special one-on-one time with Logan. He’s a very busy boy with lots of friends and a hectic schedule! But every now and then I spend an afternoon hanging out with Logan and I see how lucky Katie, Sam and Maddie are to have him in their lives. He has inspired his family and a large circle of friends to learn more about Down syndrome and to support the cause. I always look forward to my next special Logan time when we can turn on the radio and have a dance party!