Questions, Questions....

Someone asked me this weekend, "what are some of the worst things people have asked you about Logan?"  And, I had a response right away, but, as I thought about it some more, I realized there aren't A LOT of things that have offended me over the past 4 years.  Obviously, there are a few, but in general, I'm just really happy that people care enough to ask questions.  I understand that not everyone knows EVERYTHING about Down syndrome, I don't even know everything about DS, but I WANT to share the knowledge that I do have.  So, please, keep asking me questions.  I probably won't be offended, and I love to talk about it and raise awareness.  I also realize that sometimes, in an effort to be "politically correct" you feel like it's better to not say anything at all.  I do NOT agree, ask questions!!!  Show you care, we'll tell you if you aren't being "PC."  Hahaha.

However, their is one question that one person asked and I want to set the record straight right here right now.  Not in 1 million years, not for 100 BILLION dollars would we ever, ever change a thing about Logan, extra chromosome and all.  We feel the same about our girls as well.  We love, and cherish all of our children.

We are so eternally grateful to be Logan's parents.  We feel like we were chosen for a reason.  The hardest thing about being Logan's parents are that we know the stereotypes about people with Down syndrome and it's hard to realize that people sometimes think those things of our child.  But, we try, every day to dispel those myths and stereotypes.

So, please, please, please ask me your questions, tell me your thoughts and share what you know with others.

College!!!

Dan and Janet Weller are two of our oldest, and dearest friends.  They were also among the first to truly, truly love and accept Logan.  I don't know why, but I remember, so distinctly, them coming over one Sunday morning to play with him and I could just tell that they really loved him and did not care that he had Down syndrome.  You know, it was scary in the beginning, wondering if everyone would accept him, if everyone would love him.  So, it was so reassuring that they did.  And, they have ever since.
What Janet's written about is amazing!! She's definitely gone above and beyond and has done some very in-depth research and has gotten information that could help so many children.
Please, please take a minute to read her blog/article and pass it on to ANYONE who may benefit from this info.
Thanks Janet!!!  We love you guys so much :)

First, her email to me:

Hi Katie,

I've been following your blog this month (I even have it as a bookmark app on my phone!) and have been working on an entry, if you'd like to use it. I had wanted to write something last year, but found myself swamped and never put it all together. I decided this year I would finish what I started last year.

I could easily have written about how much Dan and I love your family and have been challenged and changed by knowing Logan, but I thought that I could possibly do even more good if I tried a little "professional soul searching." In school counseling, one of our largest roles both in the school and in the community is that of advocate. As a college counselor, I asked myself last year, "What can I do to advocate?" So I started doing a little research and this year was able to polish an entry that I had started about college access for students with DS (and other cognitive disabilities, but inspired by Logan and others with DS). I hope this isn't too "clinical" for your blog, but I know I'll keep learning about this and wanted to get the word out there about it. I think that too many people discount the ability of those with DS to attend college -- we shouldn't be doing that! The information that I found also further supports the importance of inclusion (I mention it in here). 

Now, the article:

It’s October 1 and I’m sitting in my office across from a young woman who has moments ago collapsed into a puddle of tears. She struggles with math. Her Mathematics portion of the SAT was too low for her first choice college, and she is devastated. “I won’t get in anywhere!” she moans. Her grades in the subject are no better, and if I’m being honest, it’s not just math. US History and Spanish are flagging as well. I ask, “What have you been doing to try to work through the tough concepts? Have you seen your teachers for help?”

“No. I haven’t had the chance.”

“No free periods or after school hours?”

“No. I’ve been too busy.”

“What if we went together to make an appointment for you to see the teacher, say, next week? That way you could plan in advance to use that time for extra help.”

“She doesn’t like me.”

“I’m sure that’s not true – teachers really want to help. I promise. Really, they do. What evidence do you have that she doesn’t like you?”

“Well…”

And so it begins. College Counseling really is counseling, in case any of you doubted! But as I mentioned, this is October 1, and I know that Katie has started her month-long blog to help raise awareness about DS. So, as I am working through the stages of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with this tearful self-diagnosed dysgraphic teenager, I am also thinking somewhat bitterly about how good she has it. “Bad at math.” I was bad at math, too, I think. I turned out pretty much okay. Try having challenges that you can’t overcome by simply going to see the teacher for extra help.

I have a hard time, sometimes, with privilege as it relates to my job. In my field, we talk often about learning disabilities and access issues, equity in higher education and colleges that open doors. I have a listserv communiqué saved in a resources folder on my computer that lists colleges for the underachiever, colleges for the “B” student, colleges for the kid who needs a second chance, and a list of colleges where students ADHD will find resources. Where would I counsel a student with Down Syndrome to look for college, I think to myself, handing my weeping young friend a tissue.

I have never doubted that Logan can attend college if he chooses, and I’ve always hoped that Katie and Sam will allow me to help advocate for him when the time comes. At present, fewer than a quarter of these students earn post-secondary degrees, but as recently as this past summer, new initiatives were begun to address this issue and there is a lot of reason to hope. There are only around 150 known programs of post-secondary study – with differing rigor and structure – currently in place (compare that with over 2500 four-year traditional undergraduate programs and 1700 two-year certificate or associate programs). Congress reauthorized the Higher Education Opportunity Act in 2008 (it was implemented this past July), however, which has provisions for improving the quantity and quality of post-secondary programs for students like Logan. In addition, the HEOA allows students with intellectual disabilities the opportunity to apply for and earn Pell Grants, Supplementary Educational Opportunity Grants (SEOGs), and Federal Work Study Program.

But policy work can only get us half of the way there. The other half has to do with the student’s own readiness for college, and that piece of the puzzle relates back to one of Katie’s earlier posts about inclusion. Advocates are loudly acknowledging the role that inclusion plays in keeping students with intellectual disabilities motivated, prepared, and challenged to the level that they will pursue higher education. In a February 2009 article in U.S. News and World Report (See? They do have valuable information about college if you ignore that odious rankings list!) featured an interview with Stephanie Smith Lee, senior policy advisor for the National Down Syndrome Society, who extolled the virtues of inclusion in helping students with DS achieve college readiness. A quote from the article:

“Inclusion helps young adults with intellectual disabilities expand their independence, their ability to earn competitive wages, and their ability to be part of a community, Lee says, adding that these are the same skills any college student gains by attending an institution of higher education. Whether students audit one class a semester, challenge themselves to take a few courses for credit, or spend an entire semester simply learning how to take public transportation to and from campus independently, Lee says the benefits of these experiences are evident.”

Lee’s own daughter has DS and dreamed of attending a four-year college. At the time, there were no programs of post-secondary education that would support her in the Washington, D.C. area where the family lived. So, Lee worked with George Mason University to form one that is now recognized as one of the best in the country. Other such programs exist at Mount Aloysius College in Pennsylvania and Becker College in Massachusetts. At the certificate/associate’s level, the Inclusive Concurrent Enrollment Program at Massachusetts Bay Community College is recognized as a leading model. And the numbers are growing. Since the HEOA monies began being distributed at least 54 new programs have been identified or started.

There’s a lot more to learn about HEOA, IDEA, ADA and other policies that support the effort to provide access and equity to students with cognitive disabilities. I plan to study up and use my area of expertise to advocate as best I can. My inspiration to do so is that sweet, funny, kind, stubborn, one-of-a-kind towhead that we all love, and also:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/05/education/edlife/downs.html?_r=1&ex=1167022800&en=dd486b1d3ab1f740&ei=5070

http://stoloff-law.com/blog/college-bound-students-with-intellectual-disabilities/

http://www.thinkcollege.net/

Logan's Slideshow

Good Morning!!  Running VERY short on time today, crazy busy day.  So, I thought I would share with you a little slideshow I made of the first 2 years of Logan's life.  I made it to show our to our newest members this weekend at the Chesapeake Down Syndrome New Parents Social!!  I hope you enjoy.
And, please check back tomorrow for an amazing post written by my friend Janet.  It's DEFINITELY a must read!!!
Have a great day everyone :)

Make a free slideshow design

Best Buds

About 6 weeks after Logan was born, another little angel entered our lives.  Declan O'Conor Bell was born on July 8th and he and Logan have known each other since then.
We did everything with them when the boys are little and this is the first year they're not in some sort of activity together.  We miss them, but luckily see them often.
Declan is an amazing boy, who comes from an amazing family and we're so blessed to have such wonderful friends in our lives.

Here's from Molly and Declan Bell:

Last year Dyer and I expressed how much Logan has touched our lives in these past four years.  For this year’s Downs Syndrome Awareness month, our son Declan wanted to share some of his thoughts.  I was happy to be the conduit because it’s always refreshing to look at life through the eyes of a child.  His words are not profound, but indeed sincere.  After hearing what Declan had to say, I’m even more grateful that my sons have Logi as a friend because he makes all of our lives a thousand times richer just by being a part of them.  We don’t think of it as having a friend with Downs. Logan is just our friend. A great friend, but just a friend, like all the rest. However, we’re not the same as any friend, because God made us each unique, just like snowflakes. Some of us are tall, some of us are not. Some of us have glasses, some of us don’t. Some of us throw righty, some lefty. But, Logan did Gymboree, Declan did Gymboree. Logan sings and dances, Declan sings and dances. Logan enjoyed playing at co-op, Declan enjoyed playing at co-op. Logan talks a lot, Declan talks a lot. Logan loves donuts, Declan loves donuts. Yep, NDSS is right, they are more alike than different!

My Friend Logan

“Logan is my best friend ever. And, we have been best friends, forever. Since we were tiny babies. We have so much fun together.  I love playing lacrosse, teeball, basketball, soccer and golf with him. He is really great at playing dress-ups too. One of my favorite things to do with him is go to the Fourth of July parade. I hope we always do that. Logan is a really good talker. He is always nice.  He gives really good hugs and high fives. And, he always lets Mac play with us.  I just love Logan with all my heart. I think he has really cool eyes, cool shorts, cool shoes, and awesome baseball bats. God made Logan extra happy.  I’m so glad I get to be his friend.”

~ Declan Bell, 4 years old

Follow Up

So, I've gotten A LOT of feedback on my post about Logan having friends.  It seems that a lot of us worry about this!!!  My sister and my mom also reminded me that I used to worry about my brother and father having friends.  Apparently, according to Darbs, I used to get upset when my Dad traveled because I was concerned that he had to eat dinner alone.  I wasn't kidding when I said that I worried A LOT about EVERYTHING.  I really do, and always have.  But, I really appreciate the phone calls, emails, and facebook messages that, a)promised me that I was not alone and, b)reassured me that Logan will have friends.

Really, I just feel like we are so unbelievably blessed to have the most amazing support system in the world.  A big part of me really wants to name names of all of you out there that constantly go above and beyond for us, that are ALWAYS there for us and love us and support us uncondionally, but there's the reasonable, logical part of me that knows I'm still a sleep deprived new mom who's SURE to forget someone and I'm not willing to take that chance.  Sorry!!!  However, I'm pretty sure you all know who you are, and we love you and will always be eternally grateful to you!!!

Also, as part of my follow up on the friend post, and the Hunt's post, I want to share a little email I got from Logan's teacher this weekend.  Again, reiterating that she is the BEST teacher EVER!!!!  She is amazing!! Thanks Ms. Kelley!!!  We love you :)

From Kelley:

Ok as I sit here and try to see the keys to type I'm wiping the tears from my cheeks.  OMG!!!!  I was just reading your Blogs and I read the one about Logan at Hunt's.  WOW!!!  For some reason it is making me cry like a baby.  Just reading that you are so happy with Hunt's and the nice things you said about us makes my heart so happy!!!  So as I sit here and cry happy tears I thought I would comment on your Blogs. BUT I DONT KNOW HOW!!!!!  How do I become a follower if I don't have a Goggle account?  How do I write my own Blog?  I love this idea!!!  If it is too hard to explain in writing I can wait until Monday and you can tell me how to do it.  I'm going to print that Blog and show it to the teachers at Hunts.  Also, the one about you worrying about Logan having friends.....All I can tell you is right now in the three's program he has TONS of friends.  The children fight over who can sit next to him, who can play with him alone, and so on.  It is so funny to watch because Logan is just like "whatever...line up and I'll get to you when I have time".  LOGAN IS AWESOME and he is very liked!!!  I have even had parents come in and ask me who Logan is because their child comes home and talks about him and tells them how much fun they had with Logan that day.  Funny though because I worry about my middle child and making friends.  He is so shy (don't know where he got that) and it is some times painful to watch him socially.  When I hear other boys are getting together and he just sits back and watches or waits to be included, it KILLS me!!! His two brothers always have plans, but not Travis, he will just plug along and be happy with whatever!  I am finding that me pushing him to take initiative with planning is helping.  He has always struggled in school, he is Dyslexic,  and works his butt off to get good grades, while his brothers do the bare minimum and get great grades..   UGH motherhood is so hard!!! Anyway, I'm getting off track, I just want to say thanks for your kind words and for sharing Logan with us!!  I know it is hard not to worry, but just know that he is doing great at school and has many friends.  You actually should be worried about what a "ladies man" he is.  Girls LOVE him!!!!!  Have a great weekend and I'll talk to you on Monday.  Love you guys!!!!  Kelley

P.S.   Tell Maddie I have PLENTY of lipstick for her next year when she is in my class!!!  LOL!!!  I LOVE LIPSTICK TOO!!!!